620

So I cannot wait until this baby is out of me. I mean don't get me wrong, I know the REAL hard work will begin once she's out and I have to do more to take care of her, but oh my goodness to be able to work out the way I want to, to lost the initial 15lbs that happens with birth, to feel a little less pressure on my frame-man. I am so excited.

When I did ultimate loser at SARC, it took me 3 months to lose 30 lbs. I'm hoping I can do this over the summer, and maybe even quicker since I'm planning on breast feeding (you burn up to 500 calories more than if you don't). If I can't do it in 3, I'm pushing for 5. I just wanna run.

And I'm hoping to plan a trip sometime in September to head down to Vegas for a little vacation. I'm not sure who will come with me. Maybe Emily? Maybe Joni? I don't know but I really just want to get away for awhile, eat some good food, have some good times, and feel like me again.

I am going to be a hot mom.

Or maybe I want to go camping for a few days, cook out doors, bathe in a river, do something like that which I really love. Not sure, but I've got some big plans for the summer.

619

Had a fun moment last night washing and drying the dishes with Cristian.
We're freaking hilarious, and I love our house-except that there is now a spider living in our bathroom that Cristian won't kill. He claims that it's "not hurting anything"-yeah...ok... So help me that sucker is going to die today. I'll do whatever it takes lol.

618

Yesterday Cristian came with me to feed the ducks.
I keep thinking about it.
It was awesome.


It was a small moment, but it made me so happy.
Sighs.
I love him.

617

It is a beautiful sunny day, and I really need to find something to put my time into since I'm still waiting to hear back from a few jobs. Kinda going crazy just being at home waiting for the next time Cristian's going to come home hungry. However, I am getting better at timing his lunch better for him so he doesn't have to worry about doing any of the actual cooking on his break. And he's eating everything that I'm putting in front of him which I thought would be a problem. He's very encouraging- I found myself a good one :D

So I dunno. Maybe I'll wander around the shops a little bit, take some bread to my friends the ducks, and then by then have some kind of project I can put some time and energy into. Maybe go for a walk with Nicole-get some nice fresh air. It really is gorgeous outside.

Still need to find a mattress that we can both sleep on and rest comfortably. I need to start putting together something for him for Valentines Day, and I need to withdraw from school cause there's simply no way I can do it- at least that's what I'm finding right now. I am going to start taking Spanish classes at the community center because I want our baby to be bilingual...and I can't really help out much with that if I don't know much myself- and he's been speaking in spanish to me. It's weird. I can understand most of what he says.. but I can't respond- we'll keep working on it.

616

Hey, I'm married now :D

After all the stress and planning... and crying over the stress and planning the ceremony finally happened. And what an absolutely perfect day it was :D. Sure there was rain and snow which kept a lot of people from being able to make it due to canyon weather, and yeah it didn't go EXACTLY the way I imagined it.. but it was better. I'm so grateful for all the people that helped make my day as special as it was. The flowers, decorations, music selection, toasts, friends, etc... I've never been so happy in my entire life. Or as tired lol.

I was so nervous to walk down the aisle-thank goodness my daddy was there for me to hold onto, and seeing Cristian up there all done up in his suit and looking good helped calm me down as I made my way to the front. And yes, he almost started crying when he saw me in my dress all dolled up and beautiful. He couldn't stop staring, and neither could I. I can't remember any of what my daddy said before the actually exchanging of rings..I'm sure it was beautiful though. I thought he would be all nervous and stuttering when it came to vows and saying I do- but the truth is I've never heard him sound more sure of anything since we've been together. Looked me dead in the eye, gripped my hands and said those precious little words. I told myself I wouldn't cry..so I didn't.. but the tears were there when I said them to.

Michael was such a star also. "Cannon" on the way in, and then "Dawn" from Pride and Prejudice during the signing of the license and walking out. It was beautiful, and we both couldn't stop smiling.

It was wonderful to see everyone that could come, and I'm so glad I had all my sisters there to help me with my dress, hair, and veil. Sighs... I am very blessed. Pictures, the dinner, and the cutting of the cake were all a blurr but I will never forget the best man's toast, my sister Jasmin's toast or the one that Cristian gave to me. I've never heard such nice things said about me, and yes I got all choked up.

The dance wasn't too successful but.. whatever.

And when it came time to sneak out of there I started sobbing as I told my parents goodbye and thank you. My family has helped me through so much the last couple of months.. not just with this wedding but with this new experience of being pregnant and anticipating motherhood. I hope one day I'm just as good or close to what my parents have been for me... for my children- starting with Violet who's due in just 4 MONTHS!!


I would write more...
...but I'm overwhelmed.


What a good day. :D

615

I hate the world today.

I have a million things to do and I can't bring myself to do any of it.
I can't deliver these announcements.
I can't take my ring in to get it resized.
I can't make him dinner tonight.
I can't clean my parents house though I know I should.
I can't do anything today.

I just wanna sleep.
I'm trying not to shut down...
..but it feels like my power is going out.

614

So.... I dunno.
Haven't slept well in days.