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When I'm trying to go to sleep my ears have to be covered completely. It doesn't matter so much once I've entered the actual REM cycle- but until then my face is enveloped in sheets. It's a wonder I haven't suffocated yet. I love the heat and the weight. So so nice.

I also have this thing where the doors HAVE to be closed tight (including my closet) and the window blinds up or down (because they are reversable).
I'm not sure why I'm writing about this.


Lots planned for the week.
Couple dates. Spring Break starts Friday (technically).
But tonight I have a date with Jarren (rball, making dinner and a movie), same with Thursday with Bishal (from Nepal)-over to Tannin's for fondue and game playing, maybe a movie and Friday night with Cody (Nerts and then to Alice in Wonderland).
Saturday I head down- I mean UP- to see Evan-snow mobile, meet his family, play some raquetball, tour of the town, go to church with him Sunday and everything in between. Should be an experience. The thing I'm most nervous about? I'm going to be staying with his sister. Why does that make me nervous? I have no idea. But it JUST DOES.

I'll come back Sunday afternoon!
Monday is- whatever I want!
Tuesday is my birthday! But I haven't planned anything for it yet. Why? Don't know.
And then Wednesday it's down to Arizona for some camping ( we think )!

Things in general are going really well. I had some struggles last week with people trying to rain on my parade, but I've decided to just keep living this awesome life I have with optimism! I'm so happy! It's everything. The sunshine. Spring break coming up. School is interesting ( today I learned about cloud seeding- FASCINATING). I've made some really close friends already this year. The dating has exploded and I'm having tons of fun just going with the flow. People that I lost touch with for awhile have now re-entered my life and it's amazing. I'm getting along better with my family and my health is still improving.
Things are going wonderfully. They COULDN'T be better then they are RIGHT now.

Our foreign exchange student arrives today from Germany!!!, and we're all very excited to meet her. Her room looks so good! And the quilts that we put together for her and Talisa ( my lil' sis) are adorable! I can't wait for Talisa to go visit her in Germany NEXT year. She'll love it! And I'm glad that she has the opportunity to go- travel is so important. That kind of learning is crucial and I'm glad that me and my other family members have had those kinds of experience.

What else...
My daddy was made a Bishop in his married family student ward up on campus. I'm so proud of him, and excited that he's doing this. I always thought he SHOULD be a bishop and now he is! And it's great! He's going to do an amazing job. He's only been in for a couple days and I haven't seen him since Sunday afternoon dinner (they've already put him straight to work). I miss him. And there went my help for math homework but I know that he'll be blessed for magnifying his calling. And I'm glad that my mom is such a strong woman because she's not going to see him as much for 3 whole years.
I love them both! so FREAKING much!


I haven't heard from my older brother and sister for months. They don't return calls or texts. They could be dead and we wouldn't know. I worry about that part of my family. There's a definite split and I wish it wasn't there. What can ya do?

Anyways... I need to..
Eat lunch.
Math homework.
Clean room.
Maybe take a nap.
Spring break last minute things.
and uh...

Have fun!

242

Well.
Yesterday was SUCH a blast, but I didn't accomplish ANYTHING that I needed to. My arithmetic is only half finished. I never got around to doing the readings or writing my critical reading questions. My laundry never got put it. It seems like from the moment I woke up yesterday morning there was something happening.

But it was fun.
Movie making with Jarren.
Grave digging ( we never found the one we were looking for)
Discussed a visit with Evan ( it's still not planned out yet)
Went out to lunch (entirely against my will, but at least Nicole decided to SPLIT something with me)
Made plans to play some Raquetball with Jarren tomorrow night- interesting.
I did go to the gym and worked out HARD because of that stupid eating out incident.
-I just don't enjoy it all that much. I hate feeling pressured into it. If it were up to me-and I guess it is- I'd only eat out on birthdays. Maybe that should be my goal for the rest of the year... maybe.
I learned how to play Nerts. Best Game Ever.
Spent time with Jess and Jason planning our club and the things we'll do IN it.
Planned a party for Friday night where I can meet and mingle with Ben.
Sometime this week sledding with Scott.
Alice In Wonderland with Cody.
Spring Break planning with Sarah.


Nothing about... what I had planned to get done.
And now today is fast sunday.
I mentioned being a little more irritable on fast sundays because ya know.. low blood sugar, no food, etc. and Davin said "you're irritable all the time, I never see any difference"

Now. I don't know why, but that actually really hurt my feelings. I do my best to stay positive no matter WHAT is going on. Sure, it's hard to see the bright side when the people around you are acting PSYCHOTIC.. but I feel for the most part I'm able to find the good and focus in on that.
I'm offended by that accusation-and my interest in him plummeted, and I don't actually know how to deal with it.

Today is going to be a bbeeeaaautiful day!

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7:4
That's right. We won the hockey game and it did NOT disappoint. There were plenty of punches thrown and blood splattering to satisfy my thirst for competition. And talk about one {wild} last period. It was a good way to end the season. And start the weekend.

Afterwards we headed back over to Scott's place to make muffins. And baby were they good! Later Cory ordered in some pizza. We munched an enjoyed while playing "Bang" and "the Thimble Game". Ever since I taught Scott that game over at Jess's he's been obsessed. 3 pts for me. It was pretty fun, we had a mini jam session where Amy played the Banjo and banged out some piano. And then get this! We did the dishes together. The only reason I mention this is because I dreamed about it. I started doing them out of impulse- once you use dishes- you wash them. Right? But he came over and told me to "step away from the sink and put down the sponge"- but then we just did them. It was if I may say.. ADORABLE.

"For future reference don't wash your clothes with a towel you used to clean up jalepeno' peppers"

I didn't end up getting home till' around 1 o'clock- which is highly unusual. But I had a really good time. And he mentioned getting together to go sledding in the morning, then back to his house for pazookies- sometime this next week. I'm going crazy. In a good way. But I just... hate... being on the edge of my seat waiting for the awesome or devastation to unfold. Extremely stressful.

This morning Jarren texted me, asking to help him with a video project. And I kid you not this is what happened in the movie- I drive deep into the canyon with my child ( who is white) and leave him by a cluster of trees, only to drive off with him running to try and catch the car. I guess the movie is about how drugs and alcohol cause a person to-for all intensive purposes- abandon those they love. It ends happily with Tyson ( his little bro) running into my arms and snuggling into my bosom. That's what happens after you go through AA apparantly.

It was really fun. Fantastic weathers. And nice to spend time with Jarren. He's such a great guy, I can't believe he's leaving in a couple weeks for possibly THREE freaking years. Screw that!
But in an hour we're going to find a tombstone that apparently has a hilarious epitaph- and I must say I'm thrilled.

I'm all about skull duggeries.
Oh and we're going shoe shopping together which should be .. interesting.

I've got a really creepy headache but I think it's because I went to bed late and woke up entirely too early. Ate some food. Thought about making some cookies for RyeG. Banished that thought because I can't be bothered. Oh. and I have to call Cody because we have a date coming up next weekend. Alice in Wonderland. Should be good.

I can't believe it's almost noon.. and all I've done for the day is make a video.

Laundry
Math homework.
Geo Readings and Critical Questions
Social Work Portfolio.
Gym

240

Brave face bold man.
NOT that I'm a man, but I feel like this should be my middle name.
Or something.

So yeah. I'm changing majors- mathematics can DIE for all I care- all I wanna do is help people! So exercise science here I come, ready or NOT. The world better watch out because the world's next best personal trainer is on the move.

SO much has happened in the last couple days, I'm at a loss to know where to start? Should I start with Rye guy? The french man? Chip night or personal reflections and realizations? Blinks.

I'm not sure what it is? Is it his intense situation that simply has me rivoted? The fact that he's set and stable, secure and well off? Because he's athletic and loves the movie Airplane? I have NO idea but I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like my happy meter goes down when I don't hear from him in awhile. I think it's because I worry about him being alone- that changed last night though when I saw his bestie! I guess he moved in with the poor lad so I don't need to worry much anymore. Speaking of his bestie- yeah I'm interested. Call me "untamed" or "wild" but the fact of the matter is I'm loving the dating around! And I'd like to get to know as many men as I possibly can. I have an idea for what I'm looking for but I just want to have FUN.

I'm a realistic. Rationed. I understand it can't go on forever if I want to progress further than where I am now. I'd like to settle, find true love, and start my family- but all my reasons for wanting this seem really immature. I fantasize about owning a house in which I can throw parties and spend time with my husband and other married friends. Having perhaps more interesting things to talk about with my friends (that are married). Children. Actually becoming a home maker, decorating the works! Being apart of that circle looks fun, and so secure. I do yearn for it. I've never had THIS though. Whatever. Enough about that.

I ran into Manny. And I suppose this ties into the above paragraph. Here is a man that is LEGITIMATELY in love with me. Now that's flattering right? I should be excited or pursuing something with him because it COULD definitely end up in the temple- but I'm not crazy about him. I'm not passionate about him. We bicker like an old married couple and though we have much in common, I've just never pictured myself with someone like him: Materialistic, um.. FRENCH. Just NOT what I pictured. I realize there's a wall that I've created and maybe that's why I can't seem to find feeling in my legs to move forward.

What EVER.

Chip night went well. I made cookies- he {scott} enjoyed them and I envisioned us hosting parties together and fell in love with that picture. Oh and did I mention that I had a dream about us WASHING THE DISHES TOGETHER and it was the CUTEST thing I've ever DREAMED?! Well yeah. It was. Tonight we're going to the last hockey game of the season. I haven't decided what to do on the matter- this is starting to seem familiar...... :) The point is, it was a good time. I met Karrie's boyfriend, and then later I watched a movie and ate cheesecake with Davin. Evan sent me a picture of the Rexburg temple.

I'm restless. That's it. I'm bouncing all over the place, and I can't calm down because.. there are some very big decisions that need to be made in the next couple of weeks! Matt comes home soon? A sees potential still. J is leaving for the army soon and M is possibly getting engaged soon! There is so MUCH going on that I haven't really stopped to try and really sort through the chaos.

But it's fun.
So so immature. I know.
But it's fun.

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MUSIC
I am obsessed.
It has to be danceable.
It has to be {loud}.
It IS wonderful.

Every moment of my life has a song or beat connected to it. Every song reminds me of a person, event, situation, or age. I can't STAND how much I need it.
I'm IN LOVE.
Complete INSANITY.

238

I NEEEEEED THESE.
Pronto.

237

I love the Kemptons.