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Slipshod job on my political science paper.
1 page short.
But it's finished. Can't do anymore.
And now I get to go turn it in, and worry about it no longer.

It is what it is.

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2 and 1/2 pages to go.
Tomorrow at 1:30pm the stress of this paper will be over, no matter how good or bad I do on it.
Then 2 more papers to go. One blasted presentation-then sweet mother loving finals.

2 job applications.


ART FINAL.
This will be awesome.


One more page Chels.. one more page.

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Just feel like, if I can't somehow figure this out NOW... that I'm never going to figure it out.
All I want to do is bury myself in the mundane routine of my life so I don't have time to screw up. So that I don't have time to get into trouble. Goodbye facebook. Goodbye phone. Time to find some solid vacant ground to sit awhile.

I'm exactly the same.
I don't know why I keep thinking I'm different.
I'm not. Dear God, I'm so sorry I'm not.
I've kind of become a bottle for a lot of people's angst.

Whose mine?
thank.you.blogspot.

Later.
Crying and driving isn't a good combination.

I have questions. I'm searching for answers.
I want my heart to be one with His.
I haven't been receiving guidance. There hasn't been a clear answer for so long.
Nothing has felt crystal clear in awhile. Everything is murky. Nothing is making any sense.
I'm afraid all the time. I feel like I can't move. I'm in the dark.

Today Bro. Jacobs saved my life. Again. Every class period I feel as though my situation has been "saved". Not matter what it is. Big or small.

"If you're not getting answers, if you can't hear a response to your earnest prayers-put it on the back burner. Don't let it effect your faith. Remember you have more answers than most of the world population. You are blessed."

517

Vegas; it was windy.

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{Expecting to be sun-kissed.}


I put a band-aid on it, I'm hoping that somehow that will help with the dryness. Something about locking in moisture seems legit, assuming there's moisture to begin with.
My right eye is dry, this happens sometimes. But I'm wearing shorts and flip flops and am heading toward the sun. This happens sometimes also.

I have yet to hear back on what exactly I'm supposed to do in the following weeks.
But I think by the end of this trip I'll have a little more direction and speed.
And courage. I hope.
Hoping for "okayness".

Not sure what happened last night.
Went to bed reasonably early. (considering the last couple of nights)
Woke up, soaked in a cold sweat.
The steamy shower felt good, and the hot breakfast I devoured but I still don't really know what that's all about.


I keep looking for someone to talk to. That's here.
It keeps coming back to this theme of me somehow being "untouchable".
Like I live in some happy joyful bubble of perfection-sometimes I do.
Sometimes, when I want to feel more real, I want to tell someone about something awful I've done. Not to shock or thrill, but sometimes you just NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.
"I don't think I want to hear about that"


Normal response I suppose.
But I put enough pressure on myself, I don't really need it from anyone else.
So I guess that's another goal.
Finding someone to talk to.


"You've got me up against the wall, you keep pushing me back"

515 butter up the big wigs

Heather: "If I deserve anything it's to be pretty, or beautiful, or to make the 7 wonders of the world extremely boring!"

Dex, while dousing the ribs in sauce, with a brush resembling the duster from "Beauty and the Beast": "I think we should pray."



N.T.S. -start taking camera everywhere again.

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