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And all of a sudden.. everything feels so much better.
Sept. 8th can't get here soon enough. But it's fun having something to look forward to.


:D

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Checked my phone this morning ( that's it right there --> Pretty awesome huh?). Had a text from Sarah that read as the following:

"I dreamed that you let me take care of your baby while you were riding a roller coaster with Nicole and then ended up back in a scary version of Logan, the baby was taken by a slave trader and I did all sorts of running and fighting to get him back. The end"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So instead of doing either of those things I just returned to my slumber, only to be horrified [[4]] hours later when I woke up and it was 11:48 am. I NEVER sleep that late, and it's not like I went to bed in the early hours of the morning or anything. Strange. My equilibrium must be off a little.

I like morning texts. { In fact that just made it into the top 10 of my favorite things list} Waking up and finding that I have them. Most of them are one liners that make me giggle out of my blurry sleepiness. It just sounds like I'm having hysterics.
For instance, here are a few one liners that have recently found their way into my "Inbox" in the early hours of the morning when I'm still unconscious.

Scott: "I'm afraid to go to the bathroom"

Ben: " Just now I saw a hairy man with a pretty classy combover drop his dripping ice cream cone on what appears to be his biological child."

Dan: " I'm smiling so wide that I could eat a banana sideways"
James: " !?!?!?!?!?"


There's more. I should make a list, maybe that way I could delete them from my phone! Is it lame that I like to save the funny ones, or the irrationally nice ones? Well I don't care, I appreciate humor & kindness so what exactly am I supposed to do? Huh? huh?! Ah well.

The point is.. I've lost 12 lbs! Most of it water weight, which always happens when you alter your eating habits strictly & suddenly. But I don't care! I'm well on my way to reaching my goal weight, which reminds me.. I gotta go running today before work starts at 4:15 pm.

I had yesterday off. I spent it cleaning my poor house, but it looks fantastic now! We even washed the walls which shows how into it we got. It's all because my N&N have gone home to North Carolina but on Saturday (tom.) we've got old friends (they aren't old, we've just known them for a long time) from {{Australia}} aka HOME, coming and we had to clean on the dreaded play room... In fact it's still not quite finished. And I get the jibblies when I walk in there. Not because it's gross, there's just a lot of clutter and I don't know where to put have of it. Personally.. I think I'm just going to throw most of it away because secretly WE DON'T NEED IT. (coughs)
So.. we did that. I watched "the Office" in my wonderfully quiet house and then last night I went swimming with Sarah. I swam about 2,500 yrds without even getting that tired! It felt SO good.

Maybe that's why I slept so late- because swimming totally wears me out. All the time.


And today. Well.. It's noon now, so I best be hurrying in to get some running down, and then getting ready to work. Maybe tonight I'll make it to Borders to preorder my Season 5.. and then all will be well.

Saturday I don't work, so I'm still trying to figure out what kind of fun thing I want to do. I kinda want to go to Bear Lake and do some swimming, biking, picnicing, sand castle building. We'll see. And then I FINALLY get to go to a full session of church on Sunday. Sorry Cassie, but I'm not taking your shift. I feel like I haven't been to classes in forever ( really it's only been 2 weeks). And uh.. yeah.

Manny. Not sure what to say on that relationship. I never see him, and I don't mind that much. So what SHOULD that be telling him & me?

Ew. I hate this part.

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And so.
I suppose it's time to BU&GU ( buck up & grow up). I guess anyways.


It's not that I think I've been irresponsible with the last year and a half of my life. Or that I think I wasted my time doing all the things I've dreamed of. Or that I regret any of it because that day simply won't appear. This last year has taught me more about life, and the person I want to be then I could possibly explain to anyone.

But I just feel different.
Because I chose to go a different way, and I don't see things the way that everyone else does. And when I say "everyone else".. I'm referring to the .01% of people I know living on planet Earth [maybe less]. I've never enjoyed the school environment, but I love the learning. I took a year off to do some self discovery, earn some money, travel, and serve. And now I'm back, black, and ready to get on "track". And when I say "track" I mean.. getting back to what everyone else does, or expects me to do.

And I hate feeling that way... like going to school isn't something that I particularly want to do, but feeling pressured to because Daddy is cheering hard for it. He's even willing to pay for this next year. so I know how desperate he must be to see me "doing something" with my life. But I don't feel like I haven't been doing anything.

I've been doing tons of stuff, and it all relates back to what I would WANT to do if I really thought I WANTED a career. But as far as I can tell, my track record shoes that I don't stay with job for longer that 6 months because I get bored and restless. So what good is trying to have a career going to do for me if I can't even sit still?

Someone answer that for me!! NOW!!


But whatever, maybe it's just because it's been so long since I had to think about school and all the shinanigins that goes along with it. Money, studying, tests, grades, finals. Ew. Maybe if I could study the things that I WANT to study.. I guess I should start designing my own major, because that's the only way I'm going to get through this. Time to set an appt with awesome Robert in Natural Resources.

I have a year and a 1/2 left. Which is shorter than I thought and then I'll be done. But what then? Jan told me that I'll never have the time or motiviation to go to school like I do now, and that it will be so much harder to try and go back later on in life. I agree. But I can say the same thing about traveling, and doing all the things that I really want to do right now. No time will ever be as convenient as it is right now. I'm not married, and I don't have kids (except my fleet in the basement), I'm not enrolled in any kind of program and I don't have any other pressing obligations that could tie me down in the future. Now would be the perfect time to get all THAT out of my system to.

It's a tough decision.
I don't want people to think I'm a dead beat.
But I also don't want to be one of those people that never does anything with her life and doesn't realize it until she's cleaning her kids vomit, or trying to make dinner for the hubby when he gets home, or having to pay outragious mortgages, car insurance and all that other TRASH... that she doesn't really want to do.

Ok. I'm exaggerating.
And I'm being really sarcastic and harsh.

But I just don't want what everyone else wants I guess.
I don't see things the way that my daddy does.
I value education, I think highly of those that go to great lengths to get degrees, and internships, and whatever else. I really do. I envy them. I get jealous. I stand all amazed.

Its true.


But sometimes I just... don't feel like THAT is exactly for me. Maybe Uni.. just isn't for me, but something like a trade school could be? I have no idea. How many types of ways to get an education are there? And are there any that would sincerely interest me? I have no idea. And I suppose I should start looking.

I can't tell if I'm just being immature, or if what I feel is actually legit.



Either way. It doesn't matter, because I'm registered and daddy is buying my books as I speak. Not that I asked him to, he just is because I think he's afraid I'm going to back out. There's no turning back as far as this semester is concerned, and I'll give it my best shot and try to make the most of it. But I just can't promise anything because my last semester there I dropped out because I was burned out, and sicked out.

I know what HE'D say. He'd say go to school, but he's not here to make me feel like I could be successful. Which is super pathetic on my part... but I'm just not confident at school.

Time to find some courage.
Tally ho!

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I've got [[South Korea]] on the brain. And if all things go well - and they better-, I'll be there (in about 2 weeks) with my awesome African Princess Gina Fosu! I'm hyped up about it. AALKSDFLKDSJKJF!!! All that's left to do is propose (down on bended knees) the idea to my parentage. Not that they could stop me, but I'd rather borrow $$$500$$$ from them... then from some bank that does who knows what with.. yeah.

Make sense?
Check.

Alright. I'm feeling a little better. My headache has disintegrated for the most part, my throat stopped being viciously attacked my ninja's with minute sabers, and I don't feel bloated and/or nauseated. In fact I woke up early to go swimming this morning. Not that I got far, because my calves still feel like fire. That's what I get for not stree-stretching out. Dag yo!

And so. Time to update!
Porcupine Dam!
It was great! We saw jumping fishies. Played on the unstable and clearly digressing rope swing. Let the fish nibble on our toes, and took delight in the fruit from our loins... I mean gardens! Raspberries and Cherries! The sun was endearing and we watched some crazy men (is there another kind?) doing tricks off the cliffs while plunging into the fantastic aqua blue tide below! And uh.. yeah! We basically just.. love it. Not much more to say on that.

Sarah's Birthday was interesting. I couldn't take an entire weekend off from work to go camping with her down at Four+Corners, so instead we tried to figure out something to do around here... on Saturday. She decided she wanted to hike Mt. Naomi and then go to Cherry Hill. Knowing that I was probably going to pass out on the hike I told her that I couldn't go to Cherry Hill. Not sure how she felt about that, but the hike was invigorating and I'm glad we decided to do.. despite the level of difficulty.
And we saw these!!: Honeysuckles in the wild! We even saw a whole little meadow of them.

Mm... Yes. I tell you what, nature is so pleasing. All the time.

And then this is at the top of the Mt.

Pretty spectacular. Even though it was chilly because of the snow and rain that attacked us on the way down. Oh .. and the thunderclapping bass that sang to us as we trudged along the way.


Oh yes. Don't worry, or fret (because I KNOW you were) We remembered storm safety! And vowed to each other that if we saw lightening we would hold hands and run to the nearest ditch, lay down, and die together.. so it was good.

Happy Birthday Sarah!

Her birthday present is still in the making because my beloved counterpart and canine Tahoe.. stepped on it and ruined all the paint. So I have to start from scratch. I feel bad, because you're supposed to get pressies ON your birthday. Good thing she's a good sport. good. good. good. Also, we need to figure out a time for me to take her to see My Sisters Keeper. Nothing says "happy birthday" like sobbing your eyes out in a movie theatre ( at least we think so).

Nothing much other than that going on. Work. It's getting to be about that time in the summer when I'm feeling ready to quit, even though it feels like I JUST started working there. And I really need the money super bad. Daddy is going to pay for this year of college so I don't have to worry about that ( though it still means going to school, which I'm feeling really flighty about). And uh... yeah. Trying to figure out my relationship issues, and trust obstacles.

Pretty freaking exciting.
Also. I had a creepy dream about Matt. It made me think about what ACTUALLY happened and I woke up crying, so I might need to take a nap ( if I can rangle in some "Z's" ) before work tonight.


I got hit by reality.
And it hurt.

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I'm feeling deathly ill.
But soon to be posted: Porcupine Dam, Sarah's B-day, Mt. Naomie, White Pine Lake and more!

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I hate the # of this blog. 117? What the "h"?! Is there anything special about that number? All of a sudden I'm feeling kinda fiesty. Ugh.




My hair is really big right now.

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I fell into a lake today.



An icy cold lake. literally. Because there was still snow up at White Pine. Manfred (my cell phone) was in my "pocket" when I slipped in. So I had to purchase a new phone. They didn't sell mine anymore. I guess they stopped supporting/loving/caring for the beloved SamSung Slider version something something something.
So now I have the Samsung Magnet. Which sucks because the key pads are so effing small, and I don't have anyone's number anymore because my blasted SIM card was damaged. Oh, and there goes all those photos I took in Australia, Thailand, Texas, and in the valley- and the blessed canines...

And it makes a weird "message" alert sound that drives me up the walls.










I really hate [[change]].