Friday, January 7, 2011


{Mmmm, you know what else I noticed about you..? You're so humble and ..MODEST}

I accompanied him to Taco Bell. I've never eaten there, but let us be honest together-I haven't been MOST eateries in this valley. And certainly not if the words "fast food" could be associated with them. He made the comment that he really admired the people that worked there because "they have nothing but are still working hard". I said out loud that "Well, someone has to do it." And I'm sure I sounded disdainful unintentionally.

But for some reason what he said really got my noggin crankin'.
I've had some kind of job since I was 12 years old. My first job? Working out at the American West Heritage Center. Since then it's been a cornucopia of different jobs. (I'm a little ADHD about it and tend to get bored after about 4 months). The longest I've held a job is 9 months. It happened twice and that was pretty unique.

I was thinking about all the really awful jobs I've had (most of them involving food-we all know I have a thing with food) and I realized something quite spectacular about myself. Even during those times when I've had really stupid jobs-it was always better than having no job. My last job (before I acquired my current job) ended in September. I didn't have a job from then until about 3 weeks ago- and it was AWFUL. Any type of job would have been better than having the feeling of not making money for myself and not feeling productive in society.

And while I don't think that was the motivator behind me taking this job (Pretty sure I only took this one because the Lord told me I should) was because I just WANTED ONE SO BADLY, I do know that it played a small factor in some way.

It's so much better to have a job, then not. No matter what the job is.
That was a surprising thought to come to me-a pleasant surprise because I really didn't think that I was like that.

That being said, I took the job which I have currently.
I dreaded it. Cried my eyes over it. Really thought I was going to hate my life and be done with it in 2 weeks. Felt really insecure. Just.. no good feelings came when I was thinking about this option. I actually decided NOT to take the job and if you can imagine I only felt worse. So I went back and tried to work things out with the company and it did work out.

I've worked there for 3 weeks, and I'm baffled to say that things have been good. I actually felt excited to go to work the other day. I'm not making much money (which means I'm looking for a second job), and I don't really know why I'm supposed to be here, but I do know that taking "leaps of faith" has never been an awesome strong point with me but I did this time and it's good. I still don't know why. But it is. And I'm glad that I overcame that fear in this situation. Let's hope I can do it for the next time one like that comes up!

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