Wednesday, March 31, 2010

254 [ the things in my head]

253 check it out.

We are.. would be? An odd couple.
I just don't know what we ARE exactly.
Does that bother me?
Absolutely not.
I'm so happy with where things are now.

He's sensible, responsible, has a plan, understands finances and budgeting (great with #'s), incredibly smart, absolutely HILARIOUS, somewhat athletic and outdoorsy, knows how to do laundry and cook, AND clean. He's really into history-world and church-, collects antique foreign money, has a thing for leggos (ships specifically), {{enjoys quiet music}}, reading. He loves researching and learning, naps and fishing. He's sarcastic and silly in a way that I can appreciate fully, loyal, concerned and understanding.

That being said...we obviously have very little in common-which is just so INTERESTING to me considering the circumstances.

I have some sense, very irresponsible, no solid plan, I suck at numbers, I'm only smart about very specific areas of knowledge, kind of funny, VERY athletic and outdoorsy- I CAN do laundry, and clean, but I am certainly no cook. I'm not into history- I'm all about the future, my hobbies are mostly physical and musical, my music my be BLASTING, I like reading-but specific genres and you'd never catch me researching just for fun. I haven't gone fishing, and I can't picture myself going..

Maybe that's why it works.
Or HAS worked out thus far.
The blatant differences. Because maybe if I was with someone MORE like me the downfall of humanity would come that much sooner. Two reckless human beings together doesn't paint a pretty picture. But I enjoy the idea of me being the more wild counterpart in this relationship-it fact it frees my free spirit to a more freeing point.

I like the boy.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Now doesn't that look.. intoxicating.

I'm keen on writing, even though I honestly don't have that much to record. Nothing paramount or really even WORTH remembering has materialized today. It's sunless and hyetal. I cannonaded into tears at the end of my arithmetic exam earlier this morning because.. I just don't -can't- understand or register fractions. And the test was chock-a-block FULL and spilling over the edge with them. I tried and tried and TRIED to decipher each formulated equation that Satan himself designed, but in the end I found myself turning in the test half finished, and slinking out of the building and going behind the fence to weep. What a nightmare.

Pre-menstrual much?
You can say that again.
But I'm definitely failing the class with that test.

I guess that means {{summer school.}}
If I was being totally honest with myself-because I'm NOT- I'd say that I didn't REALLY expect to pass the class the first time around anyways. That would be TOO easy. Especially for someone with my "special mathmatic abilities". It's not a strength, it's a very severe weakness. An actual mental disability. I can't process information like that and RETAIN it. And that is where the problem lies, in remembering. Because in math everything stacks upon the last concept. But I didn't want that to stop me from trying. So I did. And it's hard because I guess there was a very small part of me that thought I could maybe kind of possibly scrape through. Hence the upset.
{{Summer school.}}

What an oxymoron- and a hideous one at that.

All that aside and now partially buried away-forever- In truth I AM happy:

The weather is warming up.
I had a chance to sit with Davin and chat before I drove home.
My eating has been in check and FABulous.
I've found creative ways to get a work out in with incredibly painful shin splints.
Tonight it our test to see how much I've improved over the past 2 weeks.
Patrick's back from Washington and I'm SO excited to see him.
Mary has been checking up on me every day to see how I'm doing- and her concern is very much appreciated.
My family relations are improving even though we're all under extra strain with Daddy's new calling
The pictures I took for Minnow turned out spectacularly and I know she'll enjoy them.
There's only a month left of school.
I have a job (possibly two) secured for summer.
General Conference this weekend.

Monday, March 29, 2010


We are different, though we seem the same.

After the one who never was nor could be, there is another that might have been if he had not been before he was. Sometimes there is one while there isn't another nearly the same difference of that which was subtracted. If one becomes what another dreaded, they will never make up their divergences, only to dwindle and perish in unbelief. Never will there be one that can fully understand the potential of another as long as there is an inkling of doubt within the soul of either of them. There may be a belief that there is one set standard that all must be, but that can never be unless the standard was only to be one's self and nothing else. To be different is something that all must eventually reach, which then creates the ability to become the same. No one is nothing, but none are something unless they believe that they must be judged on the basis of what they could have, and should have been. As long as we can reach that potential which can only be created within ourselves, we will never be denounced as a failure by the ones that are they most important.

We are made the same by our differences.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


My head's spinning. Hypersonic-like.

I'm sure it has something to do with sponging up chalk/dry powder through every jimmy in my face (mouth, nose, oculars, etc). Worth it though. Completely worth it. This was my first year going down to the Festival of Colors so I wasn't sure what to expect. Of course I DID expect us to get down there ON freaking time but I should have known better with Nicole being the driver. Bless her heart {i.j}.

Because we were late they were {sold out of powder} which was really irritating. I mean we got some color-of course-, but not as much as I would have liked- especially for my first time going down there. Ugh. There's no use whining about it but freak- maybe we'll have to grind some neon chalk and have our own fiesta because I feel I've been robbed of a really incredible experience.

[I love how in this picture you can see the shadow of Clayton taking our picture. Sigh]

The music was really fun to dance to, lots of crowd surfing, shoe throwing, and laughing. I had a pretty awesome time- and Evan met me down there! I'll admit I was a little nervous about this meeting, mostly because it's been awhile since I've seen and spent time with him face-to-face, one-on-one. It's fine that we talk EVERY day but, well we get it. It was FANTASTIC. There was one awkward moment all evening-for me-which is record breaking in my book and the rest of the time was full of his dry humor and me laughing till' my sides hurt. I wish he smiled more, he has wonderful teeth.

SO good to see him again.
After we toured the temple, bought his sisters some pressies, checked out the pond, and took some pictures we headed back to his car to go meet up with the others.
Nicole, Clayton, Lauren, Steven, Sarah, and Laurens step mom and Dad saved us seats at Callie's Place and we spent the rest of the night listening to drunken fools sing kareo while we ate. It was ridiculous, but the food was really good.

One sweet time but I'll admit I felt a little anxious and sad when it was time to leave. I'm so comfortable around him-maybe TOO comfortable but it's not something I think I should stop. So we'll see what happens. He may or may not stop in town before he heads back up to school- I'm really hoping he does, so all of you cross your fingers for me.

Time to church it up.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

249 (a condo? for me? why thank you!)

I'm thinking about purchasing a condo/small house.
Now I know that sounds CRAZY because I haven't had a job in the last 6 months. How could I possibly have the money? Right? I've got liquid assets baby!!!!-compulsive saving pays off. Weird pun!! And I will have 2 jobs in the next month. One that will bring in a little mula, and my traditional summer job that will bring in alot. Plus with that $8000 dollars for first time home/house/condo buyers that Obama will give me if I do decide to do just .. this.

Here's the thing.
It's time to move out. I've been deep cleaning and de-junking the last couple months, not only because I'm OCD about cleanliness but because this has been on my mind frequently. I'm proud to say that I've narrowed it down to essentials and things that I plan on selling. Also I'm proud to say that I have most dishes and appliances that I would need in my own place, by myself- except a fridge... But I most CERTAINLY don't plan on moving out with a bunch of stupid girls. It wouldn't matter WHO it is- it would be stupid. Alright, that's a lie. I wouldn't mind living with ONE person, but they'd have to keep their trash to themselves... and not get pissed about loud music because it's just WHO I AM. And I don't like the idea of having to share a bedroom, or kitchen, or vanity sink with ANYONE-unless it's my betrothed. Also, you can't have a dog in most apartments and that's something that I really want. Nope. Need. Along with a garden, and a place to hang a clothesline.

If I change majors and start this new program over the summer I can start taking clients in the next 4 months- at the END of this summer. Of course I'd only be a level 1 trainer but as I take on clients and earn more money I'll do more schooling to become a level 2- then 3, then a Master Trainer. I'll be able to pick my own hours and even do house calls. In this area I'd really like to work with engaged couples ( I know many soon to be wife's that want to lose a few before the big day)- PLUS it's a big BIG tipping job, if ya catch my drift.

I guess that means I plan on living in the Valley. At least for now. And I'm cool with that. I'm still going to school here and will be for awhile. My biggest support is here. I LIKE being here now. I'm still a travel guru- love to be living large and experience culture but.. ya know.. that has it's place. I'm hoping to get a job IN the valley- the gym I'm going to now- and with Brian leaving for Cfield the swim coaching position is soon to be open- which I could ALSO definitely take. In fact- I should start looking into that PRONTO. Today. YES. Today.

I'm not sure where I'd go. They just built some new ones on the West side, and I know of a few other places in this wonderful little town. It wouldn't be huge. I know of one that is a fixer upper, but it's cheaper. I'd need someone to help me paint- and I'd want vinyl in the kitchen area-not tile-it's to cold and harder to clean. New light fixtures because they look like something that came out of the 70's- but I mean, I could deal with that for awhile. And shag carpet- yep you heard it straight. I want the shag! It'll be a nice beige or brown color. I want a red bathroom.

I don't have to pay for my school so that's a plus.
I'm not sure about my car payments- they-meaning the units- might just pay the rest of it off FOR me, but not counting on that I still owe about $4000.

The thing is the security.
I have many things going for me. I'm trying to get back on my photography game- like actually STARTING business-it's getting there. I'm a composer, and an author- Jess and I are planning on the book being done in about 8 months and it will sell big up on campus- that much we know for sure. But after initial sales we don't know what we'll do with it.
And other things that have been kept under the carpet- but if it's necessary then they WILL appear.

I've got a plan set out. I know how much it would cost- how much payments would be every month to keep it, and an estimate of how much paint, fixtures, carpet, and vinyl would cost. Of COURSE there will be debt but when making purchases like this there is always BOUND to be that- and I'm good with it. As long as this plan that I have goes accordingly then all will be well.

I'm going to talk about it with Daddy tonight. I expect his reaction to be a little baffled at first- but I'm hoping that he'll help me figure out my plan and support me in what I'm trying to accomplish with this. It might not happen this year. But if it doesn't then hopefully next year.
Everyone wish me luck!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Found this-LOVE it.

Thursday, March 18, 2010


Writing this blog is the last thing in the ENTIRE world I want to be doing right now. For no particular reason except I feel so ridiculously restless.
My birthday.

It was {{wonderful}}.
I woke up to some sweet sweet sunshine, drove around the island snapping pictures and exploring the less familiar places while everyone else went to work and school-the poor souls. I managed to get an hours worth of time in at the gym because I KNEW I wouldn't be eating healthy later that evening. Drove home from the gym, showered, changed, readied myself for the day.. while brushing my teeth my cell phone rang.

It was an old man.
He asked if it was me-Chelsea.
I said yes.
He then asked me if I was home.
Without thinking I said "yes".
Then HE hung up. Promptly.

I spent the next 15 minutes debating what to do? Do I vacate the house to protect myself from this OBVIOUS creepy old geezer? Or do I stay and protect my fortress. The doorbell buzzed loudly before I had a chance to properly decide. I bolted downstairs almost tripping the whole way to check out the guy from our spy monitors ( yes, our house is covered with them because we used to get robbed every other week), I discovered an old man standing on our porch. He was carrying something.

I peered closer.
They were flowers! ALOT of flowers.
Feeling silly and VERY relieved I bounded back up the stairs, tripping all the way to receive them. I thought to myself "Man, my daddy is the sweetest one in all the land".
However, when I ripped open the card I saw that it was NOT from my father.

It was from Evan.
Now... Evan. The consideration this man has, the idea that he would actually go out of his way to buy me a GORGEOUS arrangement of flowers, for MY birthday ( a girl that he has only spent time with once-though we talk every day) absolutely BAFFLES my mind. It was very special to me that he would remember and do something for me. Very special. My room now smells of day lillies and roses- and the cute old man told me they should last for MONTHS. Perfect. I still can't quite wrap my head around it- but I definitely need to consider the possibilities.


After that episode I headed over to Nicoles ( we were going to go find a witch and the creepy retreat for nuns and priests SOMEwhere in the canyon). However by the time I got over there, there wasn't enough time-we headed to the movie theater where we saw Alice In Wonderland. It was great! Props to Tim and his imagination and style-LOVE it. I also purchased movie popcorn for the first time in about... 2 years. It was good for the first couple mouthfuls but I quickly regretted buying it. Anyway.

After the film I headed home to have Chinese, Chocolate Godiva Cake and vanilla ice cream with my family. Superb. I spent the rest of night playing cards and the thimble game with my posse. It was a really REALLY good relaxing night.

A periwinkle blue shirt that my sisters picked out. AWESOME.
An elmo pinata full of candy ( why? I have NO idea because I don't EAT candy.)
Bracelets from my mom.
$100 to do what I want with.
A poem. (So funny)
Sidewalk Chalk.
Window Markers ( which are REALLY fun)
A new journal.
Alicia Keys new album
Softlips Chapstick
A large box of Dots ( alright alright, this is the ONLY candy I eat- and ONLY on my birthday)
and flowers.

It was really great!

Last night I celebrated St. Patrick's Day with the Kemptons. Damien showed up, along with Benji and Derek. We played some games where we could win prizes- Jess showed me before everyone showed up- she had pringles, soda, lifesaver mints, mike and ikes ( all these things are green) and then she pulled out an apple and said "Because I know you don't eat junk food". It was really thoughtful of her. I like when people take my lifestyle goals into consideration- it's just really nice. I hope I do that for others as much as they do it for me.

I left early. Too many late nights made me break out - isn't that interesting? So I got a really good sleep last night. Unfortunately I didn't do much with my day. I dejunked my room- AGAIN. Another full garbage sized bag full of clothes to the D.I. and went through movies, music, books and got rid of things that I never use, read anymore, or enjoy watching. The pile is slowly shrinking- I'm trying to be minimalistic. Just another goal I have.

Went to work out tonight- I've gained a couple lbs. I think it's water though because I've been gulping it down all day long. I ate terrible on Tuesday, but I planned for and did my best to eat good portions. Today I laid around and didn't do anything- and I did eat alot ( nothing SUPER bad, just volumes) and it made it hard at work out tonight.
Only me and Mary showed up. So it was us 2, Patrick, and Natalie- and I actually had a really good time doing one on one stuff like that.

I'm supposed to look up Relacore ( it's supposed to help relieve stress). We decided that's what is keeping me at this set point. My sleeping is ok, my eating is healthier then most. I go to the gym for at least an hour every single day (except Sunday, and I'll almost always go on a walk on that day). I'm doing a really good job- and then he said something that really scared me. He said that it's pretty normal to be stuck at a set point for MONTHS. Not just 1-2.. but 7, 8, 9, and whole freaking year.

I promise here and now that THAT will NOT be the case with ME.
In fact. By Thursday next week I will have lost all the weight I gained today at the weigh in PLUS 3 more lbs. It's going to be tough- but I can work harder at being more active throughOUT the day and not just at work out. I can eat a little bit healthier, and stop eating earlier.. it can't be good eating close to midnight.

It'll happen.
Mark my typed words.

So now I'm going into town to find something to spend my $100 on.
Or at least.. partly on.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

247 (pre birthday post!)

My birthday was boss. I have much to write, and not enough time to do it justice now but..
I will. Later.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


My diet today has SUCKED some serious butt.
What a sick image.

I'm not sure what the problem is. It was all sorts of sunshine sunny and then yesterday it snowed. It put me in a weird mood which isn't the way to start off some sweet spring breakage. I didn't really do anything all day except work on some art. Homework. I wrote a letter to Matt and thought about what kind of package I could put together for his Birthday. Had some conflict with friends. I just felt really lonely last night.

Today's been weird.
Davin and Jarren weren't at church. I felt naked without them and I don't know why. I really miss Evan. Bishal called me during sacrament and I still haven't made it around to calling him- but I SHALL get on him- I mean THAT- tomorrow.
I have.. TONS to do tomorrow.

But I'm happy that I have something to list finally.

I'm thinking about going on a morning hike- somewhere. Maybe just a walk because I dislike hiking alone.
Work out.
Clean room.
Geo. readings ( just to get them out of the way)
Social Work paper
Hot tubbing
Alice in Wonderland
And then witch hunting with Jarren. I'm actually REALLY excited about this.

I just feel odd.

Saturday, March 13, 2010


So Heather is going to be taking some fun pictures of me and my friends for my birthday. I'm trying to think of some places for where we could takethem.
Places with colour and texture.

My first thoughts were:
Gas Station
Car Wash
Abandoned House and/or Barn.
Impounded Car Lot

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Last night Patrick kicked my trash. HARD core.
My arms are still trembling from our workout- that hasn't happened in awhile. So. Much. Arms. Not enough legs or core but whatever- he's fantastic and I just need to trust him. Right? I have 5 more sessions with him one-on-one and then Melanie and I are splitting our contract down the middle (and let me just say that I am THRILLED that it will be cheaper for both of us.)

The only downside?
Melanie likes to come in on Monday's at 7pm
-right when FHE would be so I'm going to have to try and .. figure something out.

My date with Jarren?
Well we didn't get into the rball courts. I guess you have to schedule to reserve them days in advance because they fill up pretty quick at night. Who knew that people in CV enjoyed rball that much? I didn't, but they were booked from 6pm till' midnight. WOW. So we headed to the store, bought some fixings for enchiladas, some bubbly, and then headed over to Kolby's to meet up with him and Sara. We had a good time putting them together- I played the piano for Jar-Bear and he danced ( or tried to ). We ate, hid Sara's phone, cleaned up and then played a round of Sequence. Sounds like a short night but it lasted about 4.5 hours.
Best quote of the night?

That would be from Kolby talking about corn starch:
"Ya know what they say about cornstarch? It's good for keeping down the urges".


Pretty good night, and full of all the laughing and good times you'd expect from someone like Jarren, and someone like me. He left for "army" this morning around 6pm and won't be back until late Sunday night. What a great guy! I'm sure going to miss him when he leaves for years in the upcoming week! But we'll let the good times roll till' then.

School in about an hour.
Along with that homework OF COURSE- will it EVER freaking end?
Cleaning my room. Organizing really.
I need to call Bishal to figure out what exactly we're doing-for sure.
Call Jess to get Tannin's address.
Get my friends together for a little birthday shoot out with Heather-SOMETIME.
Print out Hospice paper.
Start Book Review paper.
Articles and agency visits.
Training tonight with P-sizzle.

And I'm off!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


When I'm trying to go to sleep my ears have to be covered completely. It doesn't matter so much once I've entered the actual REM cycle- but until then my face is enveloped in sheets. It's a wonder I haven't suffocated yet. I love the heat and the weight. So so nice.

I also have this thing where the doors HAVE to be closed tight (including my closet) and the window blinds up or down (because they are reversable).
I'm not sure why I'm writing about this.

Lots planned for the week.
Couple dates. Spring Break starts Friday (technically).
But tonight I have a date with Jarren (rball, making dinner and a movie), same with Thursday with Bishal (from Nepal)-over to Tannin's for fondue and game playing, maybe a movie and Friday night with Cody (Nerts and then to Alice in Wonderland).
Saturday I head down- I mean UP- to see Evan-snow mobile, meet his family, play some raquetball, tour of the town, go to church with him Sunday and everything in between. Should be an experience. The thing I'm most nervous about? I'm going to be staying with his sister. Why does that make me nervous? I have no idea. But it JUST DOES.

I'll come back Sunday afternoon!
Monday is- whatever I want!
Tuesday is my birthday! But I haven't planned anything for it yet. Why? Don't know.
And then Wednesday it's down to Arizona for some camping ( we think )!

Things in general are going really well. I had some struggles last week with people trying to rain on my parade, but I've decided to just keep living this awesome life I have with optimism! I'm so happy! It's everything. The sunshine. Spring break coming up. School is interesting ( today I learned about cloud seeding- FASCINATING). I've made some really close friends already this year. The dating has exploded and I'm having tons of fun just going with the flow. People that I lost touch with for awhile have now re-entered my life and it's amazing. I'm getting along better with my family and my health is still improving.
Things are going wonderfully. They COULDN'T be better then they are RIGHT now.

Our foreign exchange student arrives today from Germany!!!, and we're all very excited to meet her. Her room looks so good! And the quilts that we put together for her and Talisa ( my lil' sis) are adorable! I can't wait for Talisa to go visit her in Germany NEXT year. She'll love it! And I'm glad that she has the opportunity to go- travel is so important. That kind of learning is crucial and I'm glad that me and my other family members have had those kinds of experience.

What else...
My daddy was made a Bishop in his married family student ward up on campus. I'm so proud of him, and excited that he's doing this. I always thought he SHOULD be a bishop and now he is! And it's great! He's going to do an amazing job. He's only been in for a couple days and I haven't seen him since Sunday afternoon dinner (they've already put him straight to work). I miss him. And there went my help for math homework but I know that he'll be blessed for magnifying his calling. And I'm glad that my mom is such a strong woman because she's not going to see him as much for 3 whole years.
I love them both! so FREAKING much!

I haven't heard from my older brother and sister for months. They don't return calls or texts. They could be dead and we wouldn't know. I worry about that part of my family. There's a definite split and I wish it wasn't there. What can ya do?

Anyways... I need to..
Eat lunch.
Math homework.
Clean room.
Maybe take a nap.
Spring break last minute things.
and uh...

Have fun!

Sunday, March 7, 2010


Yesterday was SUCH a blast, but I didn't accomplish ANYTHING that I needed to. My arithmetic is only half finished. I never got around to doing the readings or writing my critical reading questions. My laundry never got put it. It seems like from the moment I woke up yesterday morning there was something happening.

But it was fun.
Movie making with Jarren.
Grave digging ( we never found the one we were looking for)
Discussed a visit with Evan ( it's still not planned out yet)
Went out to lunch (entirely against my will, but at least Nicole decided to SPLIT something with me)
Made plans to play some Raquetball with Jarren tomorrow night- interesting.
I did go to the gym and worked out HARD because of that stupid eating out incident.
-I just don't enjoy it all that much. I hate feeling pressured into it. If it were up to me-and I guess it is- I'd only eat out on birthdays. Maybe that should be my goal for the rest of the year... maybe.
I learned how to play Nerts. Best Game Ever.
Spent time with Jess and Jason planning our club and the things we'll do IN it.
Planned a party for Friday night where I can meet and mingle with Ben.
Sometime this week sledding with Scott.
Alice In Wonderland with Cody.
Spring Break planning with Sarah.

Nothing about... what I had planned to get done.
And now today is fast sunday.
I mentioned being a little more irritable on fast sundays because ya know.. low blood sugar, no food, etc. and Davin said "you're irritable all the time, I never see any difference"

Now. I don't know why, but that actually really hurt my feelings. I do my best to stay positive no matter WHAT is going on. Sure, it's hard to see the bright side when the people around you are acting PSYCHOTIC.. but I feel for the most part I'm able to find the good and focus in on that.
I'm offended by that accusation-and my interest in him plummeted, and I don't actually know how to deal with it.

Today is going to be a bbeeeaaautiful day!

Saturday, March 6, 2010


That's right. We won the hockey game and it did NOT disappoint. There were plenty of punches thrown and blood splattering to satisfy my thirst for competition. And talk about one {wild} last period. It was a good way to end the season. And start the weekend.

Afterwards we headed back over to Scott's place to make muffins. And baby were they good! Later Cory ordered in some pizza. We munched an enjoyed while playing "Bang" and "the Thimble Game". Ever since I taught Scott that game over at Jess's he's been obsessed. 3 pts for me. It was pretty fun, we had a mini jam session where Amy played the Banjo and banged out some piano. And then get this! We did the dishes together. The only reason I mention this is because I dreamed about it. I started doing them out of impulse- once you use dishes- you wash them. Right? But he came over and told me to "step away from the sink and put down the sponge"- but then we just did them. It was if I may say.. ADORABLE.

"For future reference don't wash your clothes with a towel you used to clean up jalepeno' peppers"

I didn't end up getting home till' around 1 o'clock- which is highly unusual. But I had a really good time. And he mentioned getting together to go sledding in the morning, then back to his house for pazookies- sometime this next week. I'm going crazy. In a good way. But I just... hate... being on the edge of my seat waiting for the awesome or devastation to unfold. Extremely stressful.

This morning Jarren texted me, asking to help him with a video project. And I kid you not this is what happened in the movie- I drive deep into the canyon with my child ( who is white) and leave him by a cluster of trees, only to drive off with him running to try and catch the car. I guess the movie is about how drugs and alcohol cause a person to-for all intensive purposes- abandon those they love. It ends happily with Tyson ( his little bro) running into my arms and snuggling into my bosom. That's what happens after you go through AA apparantly.

It was really fun. Fantastic weathers. And nice to spend time with Jarren. He's such a great guy, I can't believe he's leaving in a couple weeks for possibly THREE freaking years. Screw that!
But in an hour we're going to find a tombstone that apparently has a hilarious epitaph- and I must say I'm thrilled.

I'm all about skull duggeries.
Oh and we're going shoe shopping together which should be .. interesting.

I've got a really creepy headache but I think it's because I went to bed late and woke up entirely too early. Ate some food. Thought about making some cookies for RyeG. Banished that thought because I can't be bothered. Oh. and I have to call Cody because we have a date coming up next weekend. Alice in Wonderland. Should be good.

I can't believe it's almost noon.. and all I've done for the day is make a video.

Math homework.
Geo Readings and Critical Questions
Social Work Portfolio.

Friday, March 5, 2010


Brave face bold man.
NOT that I'm a man, but I feel like this should be my middle name.
Or something.

So yeah. I'm changing majors- mathematics can DIE for all I care- all I wanna do is help people! So exercise science here I come, ready or NOT. The world better watch out because the world's next best personal trainer is on the move.

SO much has happened in the last couple days, I'm at a loss to know where to start? Should I start with Rye guy? The french man? Chip night or personal reflections and realizations? Blinks.

I'm not sure what it is? Is it his intense situation that simply has me rivoted? The fact that he's set and stable, secure and well off? Because he's athletic and loves the movie Airplane? I have NO idea but I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like my happy meter goes down when I don't hear from him in awhile. I think it's because I worry about him being alone- that changed last night though when I saw his bestie! I guess he moved in with the poor lad so I don't need to worry much anymore. Speaking of his bestie- yeah I'm interested. Call me "untamed" or "wild" but the fact of the matter is I'm loving the dating around! And I'd like to get to know as many men as I possibly can. I have an idea for what I'm looking for but I just want to have FUN.

I'm a realistic. Rationed. I understand it can't go on forever if I want to progress further than where I am now. I'd like to settle, find true love, and start my family- but all my reasons for wanting this seem really immature. I fantasize about owning a house in which I can throw parties and spend time with my husband and other married friends. Having perhaps more interesting things to talk about with my friends (that are married). Children. Actually becoming a home maker, decorating the works! Being apart of that circle looks fun, and so secure. I do yearn for it. I've never had THIS though. Whatever. Enough about that.

I ran into Manny. And I suppose this ties into the above paragraph. Here is a man that is LEGITIMATELY in love with me. Now that's flattering right? I should be excited or pursuing something with him because it COULD definitely end up in the temple- but I'm not crazy about him. I'm not passionate about him. We bicker like an old married couple and though we have much in common, I've just never pictured myself with someone like him: Materialistic, um.. FRENCH. Just NOT what I pictured. I realize there's a wall that I've created and maybe that's why I can't seem to find feeling in my legs to move forward.

What EVER.

Chip night went well. I made cookies- he {scott} enjoyed them and I envisioned us hosting parties together and fell in love with that picture. Oh and did I mention that I had a dream about us WASHING THE DISHES TOGETHER and it was the CUTEST thing I've ever DREAMED?! Well yeah. It was. Tonight we're going to the last hockey game of the season. I haven't decided what to do on the matter- this is starting to seem familiar...... :) The point is, it was a good time. I met Karrie's boyfriend, and then later I watched a movie and ate cheesecake with Davin. Evan sent me a picture of the Rexburg temple.

I'm restless. That's it. I'm bouncing all over the place, and I can't calm down because.. there are some very big decisions that need to be made in the next couple of weeks! Matt comes home soon? A sees potential still. J is leaving for the army soon and M is possibly getting engaged soon! There is so MUCH going on that I haven't really stopped to try and really sort through the chaos.

But it's fun.
So so immature. I know.
But it's fun.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


I am obsessed.
It has to be danceable.
It has to be {loud}.
It IS wonderful.

Every moment of my life has a song or beat connected to it. Every song reminds me of a person, event, situation, or age. I can't STAND how much I need it.
Complete INSANITY.



Monday, March 1, 2010


I love the Kemptons.