504

{My biological ticker is off.}

Forcing myself to stay awake all day.
Hopefully crash later tonight-all night.

Learned how to do the "advanced fireman" the "sit and roll" and "floor sweeper".
I woke up this morning, later than usual (totally coma'd through my alarm clock), with the thought that... this can't continue to be my life. What if every day I wake up and it's this same routine over and over again. What if things never advance from where I'm at right now. What if I'm always in this bed, in the room, in this state of being.

I started to feel sick.
I've GOT to move on from here.


I wish I knew what that meant.
Or what I was supposed to do.
Or where I was supposed to go.
And why this is where I'm at right now.

Lull.
Rut.
Static.
Monotonous.
Dead.
Stand still.










I don't know what to do anymore.