Thursday, April 7, 2011


{Expecting to be sun-kissed.}

I put a band-aid on it, I'm hoping that somehow that will help with the dryness. Something about locking in moisture seems legit, assuming there's moisture to begin with.
My right eye is dry, this happens sometimes. But I'm wearing shorts and flip flops and am heading toward the sun. This happens sometimes also.

I have yet to hear back on what exactly I'm supposed to do in the following weeks.
But I think by the end of this trip I'll have a little more direction and speed.
And courage. I hope.
Hoping for "okayness".

Not sure what happened last night.
Went to bed reasonably early. (considering the last couple of nights)
Woke up, soaked in a cold sweat.
The steamy shower felt good, and the hot breakfast I devoured but I still don't really know what that's all about.

I keep looking for someone to talk to. That's here.
It keeps coming back to this theme of me somehow being "untouchable".
Like I live in some happy joyful bubble of perfection-sometimes I do.
Sometimes, when I want to feel more real, I want to tell someone about something awful I've done. Not to shock or thrill, but sometimes you just NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.
"I don't think I want to hear about that"

Normal response I suppose.
But I put enough pressure on myself, I don't really need it from anyone else.
So I guess that's another goal.
Finding someone to talk to.

"You've got me up against the wall, you keep pushing me back"

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