Friday, May 27, 2011


{I own 4 dishes, and they're all glass cups}

I think I got lucky with my roommates even though I hardly ever see them. And when I do they're distant. It's true. I basically live there by myself. It was the right choice though, and it's confirmed as time goes on and life begins to fill out with all the lovin' summer has to offer. It's been good thing for him also. The move has been good for US. Scratch the couple days where he went total MIA-but we're working on it. Work is starting to pick up (what I mean to say is my other jobs have begun), it's slowly...slowly....slowly... but surely getting warmer, and I'm getting thinner. I've met a couple people. I've ditched a couple people. But it's all a part of the adventure.

Been looking at a bullet bike. I told myself when I started at Uni that IF I graduated I would buy myself one. 3 years later I'm 90% positive I'm not going to graduate from Uni-but I'm going to buy myself a bullet bike anyways. I found one for a decent price, it's going about it that will be the experience. Getting my motorcycle license, um, learning how to drive a motorcycle (I guess those go together), it's a pretty daunting task but I'm so ready to wrap my legs around a powerful engine and fly through the canyon. Yep. I said it. I want to RIDE. And I want to do it now.

So I'm looking.
And lusting.

BATC is looking like a good fit, now I have to present the idea to my parents. I'm worried about what they'll say. But more about what they WON'T say. And I'm worried no matter what I decide I won't really stay committed to it, because when you look at my track record...well... it's full of fickle decisions about school and ya know.. my future. I think about that, and then about other things-for instance- how awesome the soundtrack to Fast Five is and how much I want to dance.

I'm getting the hang of this grocery shopping thing. Really struggled there for a min.
And I really need to get on purchasing a laptop, it would eliminate a lot of travel time.
I went to my new ward last Sunday. It was good, but I have a hard time making new friends, just something I have to keep working on I suppose. I could also help myself by maybe GOING to the activities but I guess it just feels "single"-and I'm not.

Which reminds me.. AGAIN. I need to get some picture of us. We're a BOMBSHELL couple if you ask me. Speaking of bombshells.. I went and saw my 2nd family the other night. I was feeling really..somewhere else. Needed some solid ground to stand on that I knew wasn't going to shake me around or throw me for a loop. I'm not sure how other people's families work. In mine I have 4 parents and 23 siblings. We know how to have a good time. You definitely WANT to be considered a part of my family, it's an elite clan of the most amazing people in the world, with the biggest hearts (and stomachs) in the entire world. Huge parties, catching up and cracking jokes, children everywhere, a roaring fire and friendships that will last a lifetime. There are few things I love more then sitting up on the hill and looking down at my family spending quality time together and enjoying a warm summers night-mossies and all. I'll need to get some pictures of that also. I haven't been good on pictures lately.

I've been thinking about my family nonstop lately and how they really are my best friends. I'd rather spend time with them over anyone else any day of the week and I love that we all feel the same. This morning as I sat on the guard chair and looked down at the wee 8th graders swimming around in the pool I thought about WHY I was thinking about my family so much.
A couple weeks ago I met someone. He was confident enough to leave his number at one of my tables one afternoon. I couldn't read the name but thought to myself "what in the world have I got to lose by contacting this person?"-so I did right then.

Even though I did end up losing something, I've learned a lot of things from him. And most of it reminds me of how lucky I am to have grown up the way I did, with the family I did, and with all the opportunity I did. He comes from a different situation. He talks about his friends the way I talk about my family. The impression I've gotten is that he didn't really HAVE family, so he made his friends just that. I admire that, and I'm very happy for him-but I'm happier that my FAMILY became my FRIENDS rather than the other way around. As great as I know my friends are, and as much as I love them with the deepest parts of my heart I know that NONE OF THEM will ever love me, or be as aware of my self interest as my family will. I have that to count on. I have that security.

I wonder about his security.
He makes me wonder about a lot of things.

I believe people enter and leave your life for a reason, every single time. I don't believe in coincidence or happenstance, I believe in purpose. I can't see exactly what the meaning of this friendship is or will be but I can honestly say he's amazing. And has turned out to be a very good friend, even with our many differences and expectations. He talks a lot. I wish he'd let me talk more, I have a lot more to say.

And I've realized I have a lot more blessings to be aware of then I am currently.
My family.
Talisa leaves for Germany tomorrow, for an entire month. I'm so excited for her! She's not nervous at all and I envy that. No way was I that confident at 15 years old. What a rockstar.

-changing over laundry-

Really happy these days.
Feeling a lot of love.
And can feel myself beginning to give a lot more love.

Cute moment last night. He took me to a movie (he has a thing for movies) and then we came back to my apartment. Talked, snuggled, etc. When it came time for him to leave (because THIS time he made sure I followed curfew-I totally cheated last time) I started tying the strings to his hood together. He lifted my chin and said "You always do that when you don't want me to leave". I looked up and saw him biting his lip. I said "And YOU always do THAT when you want to stay". We both just laughed. Sighs.

One day.
It's gonna happen.

Went to Texas Roadhouse for the first time today. It was really good. But I ate to much and threw everything up when I got home. It was weird. I also ended up just tossing the leftovers I brought home. What a waste. Ugh. And now I'm at my parents house waiting for my laundry to dry and for Talisa to get home, so I can head back to my apt for yoga with Jonester. Parker's having a bonfire tonight, I need to purchase Nicole's present and I need to find someone to cover for me tomorrow night so I can GO to her party.

Looking forward to an early night tonight, after a really long hot soothing shower. I've got these really sexy dark circles underneath my oculars because of all the all nighters or almost-all-nighters, and my hair is in need of a professional trim. I try and do it myself but I sucker out because I have this THING with my hair. Maybe I'll just have mum do it.

Joni was telling me about a graduation trip to Australia she wants to take. I'm so glad she wants me to come with her-I love Australia and definitely don't get over there often enough. I miss THAT family. It's hard to be close with them, maybe that's why it's almost overcompensated for here... but I don't really see it that way. The movie we went to last night took place in Thailand. It made me miss it.

Travel bug may be making it's stealthy appearance.
The upcoming camping trip should stay some of the angst.
And Vegas with Jasmin (that trip is gonna be hella clean)
Annual Lagoon trip with Meggae

No comments:

Post a Comment