20

Today's the day.
I'm nervous and jittery.
I don't want to cry. I've been in mourning for the past week, and I hope that this offers me some kind of closure. ( I wish Mike was here- so I could offer my condolences and give him a hug.)


.... I just felt the universe stir. Something big is about to happen.


5:55pm

The funeral.

Standing in that line was unbearable. Sarah and I drove together, I remember chatting along the way but I can't recall much about the conversation- I recall being thankful that today was a beautiful day full of sunshine. I was the last of our friends to go up to the casket. As I approached I felt my heart pick up tempo, the closer I got the slower I walked until I was there.
There.
It was hard. I felt my throat constrict and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe properly. Then came the hard part, offering (again) my condolences to his parents. Their son. My friend.
I hugged Maryjane (his mom).
The hardest part was hugging Tom (his dad). I finally felt the tears start to swell and spill down my face.

After we made our way to the chapel. The decorations were gentle and delicate. Hundreds of flowers, and tons of people. We took our seats with the rest of the team. We chit chatted for a few minutes while waiting for the ceremony to begin.

When it did we all stood up as the family members entered. Maryjane was crying, Tom was crying, all of them were crying. Then came the casket. Closed.

The ceremony was beautiful. The life sketch that Maryjane and Tom put together was beautiful and calming. Humorous at some points, it felt good to laugh through the tears. It felt better to smile.
The hardest part for me was listening to his bishop read the note that Mike sent home (he decided to remain and finish out his mission in LA)
I wanted someone to hold onto.


After the family made their way up to the burial site. We stayed behind to chat with our friends and family. It was nice to see everyone, even if the circumstances were hardly ideal. It was a comfort to know however, that in our times of need that we WILL all come together again no matter how far away we are from each other.
Coach flew all the way from Mississippi.
Others came from further. And we were ALL their that could be.


This circle of friendship has been important to me for an immensely long time. And now I know that it's a reliable one. It's never been put to such a test before.


We soon made our way up to the site as well. Everyone had left except Maryjane and Tom who WERE leaving. Together with our coach Brooke we found ourselves in a circle talking about how hard it was to say goodbye. Again, it was a comfort to me that she was there. And that she loves me. And that she cares so much about each and everyone one of us. We were all together for such a long time, and now we've all gone such seperate, diverse ways.

I appreciate that our burdens bring us back together now and then. Even if it's not an especially happy time. Jordan will be the first person to be buried in that gravesite. His casket is beautiful, and his life brought joy to mine. And to everyone else's. And so did his death, regarding the knowledge I have of the Plan of Salvation, and the love that my Savior and Father in Heaven have for me and all his children.

No one is left out.
And no one is forgotten.