Wednesday, September 16, 2009


I was on cloud nine for a couple weeks. And I guess it was inevitable that I'd come to the part in the ride where the loops starts, the constant up and down motion of my stomach trying to escape my body somehow. I don't get how I'm already here though, did I even get to sit down ON the ride? Was I ever strapped in? And did anyone ever come around to make sure that I wouldn't go flying out over the edge?

I don't remember any of those crucial things happening. So maybe I sat down on the ride, but by myself and no one came to check safeties. That could explain this sinking feeling that's washing against my confidence, eroding it away.

It might not be a big deal. People have "off" days. Right? And I knew that something weird would have to happen. Anything that feels too good to be true, normally is. At least in my experience. I'm hopeful for the future. There's got to be something.. even if it's just one thing that could happen in my life that seems too good to be true- but then IS.

I can't wait for that day.
I ALSO can't wait for this day to be over.

I'm reacting.. because I don't know how to act anymore.

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