Tuesday, February 9, 2010


WHAT is my problem?
Maybe it was because the work out was above the pool deck and the humidity got to me. Or the fact that I haven't been sleeping well is starting to catch up, but I simply did NOT put in my best effort at workout tonight. I felt so guilty about it I stayed an extra 30 minutes to run and do some abs to make up for my lack of intensity. I felt sullen and weepy-poor Patrick. He kept trying to make me laugh-or just smile- but the most I could do was put on my "grimace" face and have at it.

I don't understand the moodiness.
Things have been going well-right? I mean nothing tragic, dramatic, or simply stupid has happened. I've been having fun, working on my art, I've kept up in my classes. I met a guy named Murphy (aaahh yeah!) and Sean from my Geography class is really amiable. Things with [s] are going well. I'm still dropping lbs, I have a couple prospects I'm looking into. The sun has been shining more than usual ( which is ALWAYS good), I'm trying to write a story and put together some activities for my ward.. so what is the deal?

The only thing I can think of.. is I'm having zero luck finding a job and my saving are being drained.... that's it. And it totally could be the cause of this "down" feeling I'm having. I LIKE working, making money helps me feel capable of taking care of myself, independent and wonderful. I haven't had a job in months and my luck hasn't been great thus far. I just DON'T know where to look anymore.

I could start selling things.
But that feels weird.
My first set of exams are approaching, maybe the stress is starting to affect my mood?
Bah! Moods! What the?!

I have this thing for umbrellas lately.
Personally I don't get it.
I miss my friends. The ones that aren't here.

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