I'm just going to swim with the current for awhile.
Take a break.
Kick off my shoes.
Go along with whatever life tosses at me and sprint with it.
It's mostly because I don't really know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I think I know what's going on, and what should be and shouldn't- but frankly I'm beginning to love the fact that I don't. ( or maybe I've decided to throw my hands up in be-bafflement- I'm pretty sure I just made up that word )
More possibilities? I'm comfortable right now, while entertaining one of the more uncomfortable situations presented in my life. Uncomfortable... no, that's the wrong word. It's just different.
I don't know what it means, where it's going, why it's happening, the things I feel. I don't.
But it's about what I DO know. That's my focus.
So here it is. What I know:
I haven't felt inspired to draw like this in a long time.
Or sculpt. And I AM.
I have that tense feeling in my stomach of anticipation.
I have something to look forward to right now.
I'm learning new things.
I've begun a new friendship.
And all of those things.. they make me feel alive.
And I don't think that's wrong.
And what will be, will be.
And I don't care about the outcome, because it's about what's happening to me now.
Screw the past.
And the future.
They both look boring or blank.
But right now.. things are not static, and that's better than nothing.