I suppose it just comes down to this. A simple fork in the road. Time to be a a big girl and figure this thing out. Maybe not figure. But it's time to express what I MUST before I either pursue or move on from a situation.
I wonder if that's how it goes down for most people. You feel so good about something that despite the potential awkward or uncertainty, risk or denial that you just have to express it- get it out of your system. Then give the other person or persons a chance to digest what just happened, make a choice, and then apply action.
It's been coming for awhile. It's been a couple months at least. I thought it would go away, that maybe I'd just FORGET the way I felt while IN the situation. But I haven't. And I guess I feel I owe it to myself to either get some closure, or to walk through that sweet sweet open portal into something new and scary. A leap of faith? Is that what you'd call something like this? I guess that would mean that I really want one side of the fork as opposed to the other- and that's not necessarily what I feel. I feel as though I can do either and find success and happiness, maybe one IS more desirable then another (I don't know because where I'm at is limbo) so it's time to just DECIDE.
Maybe once I do that then the turmoil or uncertainty will go away? For good? Hopefully? Maybe? Or the awesome can envelop me. They're both good things. I love choices like this. Where either outcome is GOOD and HAPPY. So what's to lose right?
Just giving myself a little pep talk.
This weekend has been fun. Been to a couple parties, met up with some old and wonderful friends. Laughed until I've cried and recalled memories that have put me over the edge. SO much fun. SOOOOOO much smiling. My abs ACTUALLY hurt from chuckling.