572

Finally.. the turning point.
Really good night.
Thank you.

571

Fake drowning boy: "Ahh! I'm drowning!"
Fake drowning boys friends: "Don't worry, he's faking it. He just wants you to give him mouth to mouth."

A real life "Sandlot" moment. Absolutely hilarious.

570

I don't know where he is.
But I'm 100% positive it's a girl.

Eve.

In Time Trailer

Can't wait to see this movie.

Had a dream I came up with something called "Wheat Thicks". Kinda like Wheat Thins but 1,000 calories a cracker and they "put hair on the chest". Everyone in the dream thought my idea was stupid, but even now completely conscious, I think it's genius. :D

C.o.o.l.

Was made a sandwich the other night. In order to eat it I had to dislocate my jaw like an articulated python. It wasn't pretty. But it was absolutely delicious. It was almost like the time they made me "muffins of mass destruction". Sometimes you have to make your friend happy even if it's entirely irrational.

So I don't know, maybe I want a make over.
New clothes, new hair cut, new person.

569 {MIA-for a min}

It's so hot today.
And I'm not feelin' it.

568

Tried the catfish.
LOVED the catfish.

567 {567}

So they caught 2 catfish. HUGE catfish.

566

Maybe I need to make some more friends.
I don't really do anything anymore.

565

Never underestimate the power of a natural high. Felt amazing to get the muscles working and blood pumping. Later having it followed up with a healthy dose of laughter really topped off the night. I'm not sure what's happened in the last 24 hrs but I've gone from feeling as though I can't do anything, to feeling as though I can do everything.

I see it as a gift from God that I've felt the presence of the spirit so strongly in my life the last couple of hours, and I hope the decision I've made allows me to continue to have that calm in my life when I know things are about to become possibly more chaotic than ever.

I've got a good angle.
I'm happy when I'm there, I love the teasing and laughing. I've enjoyed the security and the excitement, the change in pace but the truth is that I don't fit. And neither does he. This small nook we've filled in each other's lives only satisfies itself during the wee hours of the morning. Late to come over, early to leave and nothing about it is real. I think that's it. This just isn't real life and that's what I'm really trying to work towards. Ahead and behind in different ways. The difference between trying to be something, and actually BEING that something already.

I don't think I'm better than him. I'd never say I was better than ANYONE. But I'm too much of a good girl for him. And he's in a bad boy stage that possibly isn't a stage, but a lifestyle. I'm not saying it isn't a fun combination. I've learned a lot and enjoyed all of my time with him. He interesting and adventurous, he's sexy and aggressive in all the right ways. He's experienced and gives me the perfect amount of attention. He's hard but soft. He's opened my eyes to many things and I'll never forget the crazy in love feelings he's got for me and in many ways I love him back...but... this is a moment. And moments pass.

I'm sad it's over.
I'd be lying if I said this was going to be easy.
Just thinking about it tears me up inside, and part of me hopes that he fights tooth and nail for me... but this is the right thing to do and I feel I know that without a doubt now.

Love isn't enough sometimes.
Religion isn't enough sometimes.
Sometimes you don't get to have.. enough.
I'm lucky that I did for a couple months :D



So now I've got to write a proposal to the university to explain why my combination of studies should be accepted into the Interdisciplinary Studies Major. What to say what to say.

564

No mature response for this.
I don't miss who I was, I'm just trying to figure out who I am now.
Ahead and behind.
3/4ths of the way done.

Ready for this thunderstorm.

563

So, really need to get back on the running train. Or maybe swimming. I weigh exactly the same but I think some of my muscle is starting to turn to jelly. "Flappity flap" And truth be told, I've been pretty lazy the last couple of weeks. And exhausted-which doesn't happen when I'm on a good schedule for working out.

Starting tonight.
Tomorrow I'm figuring out my classes for fall semester.

Helped Cristian in the shop for an hour or two this morning. I miss working on cars, getting covered in grease. It's good honest work and I should stop forgetting that and just do something about my passion for it. My chat with Daddy tomorrow will help.
Cristian liked is birthday gift. Snack Pack with 22 singles of all his favorites, and new headphones (so he can stop borrowing mine). Oh yeah, and a pack of gum because somehow I've managed to give him that addiction. Happy Birthday! It's been a good morning.

Pizza flavored goldfish.
I can't explain this to anyone.
I'm happy.