Sunday, October 9, 2011


Went to Naomi's baby shower last night. Walked around in the baby aisle with Cristian looking for something to get for her right before heading over there. It was silly. A purple striped onesie. A variety of socks and a pair of tiny baby slippers. Cristian picked those out and Naomi LOVED them. I told him later cause with his friends all the guys hang around outside and the girls get together and chat or dance. Sounds like my kind of crowd but last night taught me a lot.

I only knew Naomi, Nana, and Sal's wife- I can't pronounce her name it kinda sounds like Marissa. I met Nana's daughter (Cristian's god daughter) Tiauna and some other people. I tried really hard to make an effort to get to know these people. The last time I visited I couldn't find any common ground-or ground that I wanted to be on.

It was the same thing last night. I got tired of trying to have conversations with people and instead just sat back on the couch watching and listening. After about an hour and a half I came to the deduction that all of his friends are bored with their lives, or are stuck in their lives. Everyone's doing the same things. I heard the same conversations over and over again and honestly-no one's going anywhere-unless you count getting out or going into jail. I'm trying to figure out how Cristian fits in with them. He finished school, he has a business. He's got ambition. He's doing things with his life-what exactly is their connection? I asked him as we made a quick trip down to the city. He told me they all came from a similar childhood, all grew up in the same rough-n-tough situation and that's why he can get along with them. That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I guess I have to have more in common with someone then just.. what our past looks like. We have to have things in common in the present...otherwise you just stay IN the past. And that's what I see with his friends.. They're all just hung up on their "hood" lives and have no real motivation or will to move up and forward from it. So as I sat there, looking around the room, I realized my head wasn't the only thing going in circles. All their lives were to.

We had a conversation. I'm sure it just sounded like I was bagging on his friends but that wasn't it. I don't dislike them or have any problems with any of them, I just don't ever want to be like any of them.

I got a call the other day from one of my English Professors from last semester. He kind of set my course in writing. I knew I always wanted to do it but he was the perfect person to show my work to-for the first time. I've never had a professor believe in me that much. He called to tell me about another contest. It's a dual perspective theme and I have the perfect idea in mind. The prize is $1,000 a it being published in..some magazine. It doesn't really matter what the magazine's a magazine. There's a couple photo contests coming up and I'm thinking I need to start looking into a different kind of job also.

Something that's less stressful.
I hate my job at ICON.
I REALLY am starting to hate it. It could be because I've almost been a month since I started working there and no, I haven't been paid yet. Really sick of this. I shouldn't have to go to effing payroll track down Jack whose a jack-A and figure it out. Come on, it's 2011. Super annoying. Need to figure this out tomorrow. I'm tired.

Went for a walk today up the canyon, took my camera and some tunes.
It was amazing.
And I saw a catepillar creeping across the trail.
LOVE. <3

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