Thursday, April 9, 2009

45

Recipe for Disaster

Now, most people think that you can just throw a whole bunch of chaos into a situation and walk away.
That is not the case, the most you're going to get out of that is mayhem. Good disaster should be catastrophic, and that my friends takes preparation and patience. Now as everyone knows there are literally thousands of ways to flavor your disaster. But the recipe I'm gonna give you today is just for a good common disaster. Here's the basic ingredients you're going to need:

1 cup of the idea of chaos NOT chaos.
1/2 lb of sliced trouble, as thin as you can get it.
1/2 lb of miscommunication.
You're also going to need 1 bearded man. Any size bearded man will do, just make sure he's ripe, and then you're going to need about a tablespoon of truth.
Lastly you'll need 3 buckets of uncontrollable force.

Alright! Let's make some disaster!

So we're going to start with our idea of chaos, you're just gonna throw that in there. This is going to be your base. Now, right away add your bearded man. A lot of people will say don't add your bearded man till' later, but I say add him right at the beginning because then everyone starts looking around like "whose that guy?" pointing, and he just walks around the chaos, standing in doorways, trying to hang out in back lid places...... anyways.. then you want to go ahead and add your trouble and miscommunication, but you have to add them together at the same time. If you just go ahead and add the trouble in there, someone with a good idea is going to solve that trouble, and then.. disaster's been averted.

What have you got then?

You have to have the miscommunication going on with the trouble. For instance: A new shipment of walkie talkies comes in. You light the walkie talkies on fire. There's your trouble "Uh oh, the walkie talkies are on fire!" Now you have to make sure, that the guy that they send for water comes back with batteries cause "water" and "batteries" sound a lot alike...See.. that's miscommunication.
You wanna think about it as a very poisonous lasagna: A layer of trouble, layer of miscommuncation, layer of trouble, layer of miscommunication.

Now you should in a totally different pot be bringing your "uncontrollable force" to a boil. Now right before you add the uncontrollable force you throw in a little dash of truth and that's just gonna wake everyone body up like "oh my gosh! this is actually going to happen".

You can use the "perseption of truth" but I've find that if you use the real thing you get a much better result.

BAM!
Add the uncontrollable force and you have disaster. Now you just sit back with a nice glass of chilled sparkling cider and listen to the bearded man cackle.

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