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I'm fighting losing battles all over the place.
It's either too much, or not enough. So close or so far.
And either way I'm the one crying in the corner when all is said and done. And everyone and everything else is better off or figured out.

I do believe in miracles.
I NEED a miracle.
I believe that a miracle can happen for me.
But there's gotta be some kind of action on my part, and I know that. I'm GLAD I know that, but because there's always something that I DON'T know-it's what action I'm supposed to follow through with. And that kinda seems like the most important part. How do you work with not knowing what the most important element is?

If it's not one thing, it's another.
And then I start to feel undeserving.
Sighs.

It's Father's Day.
We bought him a brand spankin' new, shiny, stainless steel grill ( and we used it for dinner tonight), and the fixing to brew ginger beer. Victoria and Talisa, along with "the boys" weeded the gardens in the back and made it look beautiful. And while all of those things are tokens of thank you TOO him, it will never be enough to show him just how much we love and care about him. My dad is my role model. I want to be just like him. He's the best man and person I know and I don't think that's entirely just because he's my Father. He has the most kind, understanding, and honest character of ANYONE I've ever met or had the pleasure of getting to know. He's so smart, and ridiculously funny. I see him constantly helping our neighbors and I know he's working miracles in the the ward he's in charge of. He loves my mom so much and he shows it by all the amazing things he does for her. He's open and honest with us kids and is always helping guide us towards things that will help us in our futures. He holds the priesthood with honor and dignity and is worthy of every kind of happiness this world has to offer. I'm so blessed and lucky to have been placed in the family that I was. And I know a lot of the reason why I know that is because he understands me better than most people I know. I can talk to my dad in a way that I can't to my mom. He's a listener, and he loves me. I haven't always been grateful or taken the time to acknowledge just how difficult it might be to BE a parent. But he and my mom have done a great job and I'll never be able to show or say thank you enough. Not for a million billion trillion years and longer.
And now I need to tell him that.

Happy Father's Day everyone!