Monday, July 5, 2010


So I need to start going to Branch Prayer again. Pretty sure that was the first rudimentary thought that sounded in my noggin this morning? A little atypical-but I'll begin going again. Also, this morning I was leafing through my scriptures-for some reason the reference escapes me-but it describes the voice of the Lord. How it's a "voice of perfect mildness" and "pleasant". I don't know why I love that so much, but I guess that's exactly how I'd imagine it to be, and for SURE I'd like to have a voice like that. {{Wouldn't you?}}

Which reminds me. I read something really insightful yesterday. Here's what happened: Davin had to escape during Sunday School to go pick someone up, or meet someone (one of the two) so he pushed off his scriptures on Sara. Not sure how I acquired them by the end of block, but I let him know that I would show up to branch prayer to deliver them-for a price. Is it wrong that I flipped through his scriptures while waiting to go on a stroll with Sarah? Really it was just because they were so beautifully marked! Every colour of the rainbow spilled over almost every page- very articulate and precise. I glimpsed a quote that was scribbled in the corner of one of the pages that said something about making sure all the words we say, and all the things we do be words and things that we could do with the Lord being in the same sentence, or being in the same vicinity.

Just something that really made me think about the things I say and do I suppose.
So I had to work for the last part of the day yesterday ( Blake was a sweetheart and took the first part so that I could attend church)-Scott was there. I mean, he'll be there a lot since he's a co.worker of mine but things are knotty currently with that plight

Being blunt and obtuse? Yeah it comes across as rude and as though I'm doing it because I don't care-when quite the opposite is true. I care a lot, which is why I have to do this but it's sickening when a conversation like this ensues:

"So what are you doing for 4th of July?"
"Well, we celebrated last night Tongan style because today's Sunday."
"Oh, so how was church?"
"It was good, it was fast Sunday so there weren't talks or anything just testimony meeting"
"So you sang a lot of patriotic songs I bet?"


"So I'm celebrating alone tonight. Everyone's gone off doing something, probably just going to make a feast and eat it all by myself. I wish there was someone I could at least enjoy the fireworks with, but looks like I'll probably be doing that alone to"

longer awk.ward.pause.

"Cool, well I'll see ya around" -walks inside-

I try hard to do the things that just feel [good] ya know? That's how I decide if it's right or wrong the most effectively, but this is thorny because I don't FEEL good about being like THAT. It's not something that brings me joy or makes me want to dance, or laugh, or sing. It just doesn't- but in the long run I know I'm doing him and myself a favor.

I hate how I always thought he was there for me when in reality .....

Guido comes back to the motherland Tuesday! Can't wait to see and embrace him. I wonder what we'll do? I know bowling is on the litany, and I know I'd really like to show him the meadow--really I just want to hunker and bunker back into the part where he's my best friend and we have memorable adventures together! I've missed that! When was the last time I had a day that I will never ever forget? Not for a long time- but with him I know that will happen.

Gabbed to Sarah last night till about 1:30am. Sighs. But it was good. We're figuring out New Zealand- the only thing that COULD potentially pose a problem is school and that's only if I get a strong feeling that I should go fall semester-because let's face it- I haven't felt that since kindergarten. Uni just isn't for me.

I need to secure another job though, for when this one terminates at the finale of the summer. I'm thinking the swim shop? Or any of the sporting goods places in the valley, I thought about PetSmart or something. ICON would be sweet. Just... something along those lines- and I'd really like to take an art class. Painting. Just something new I can do, I have so much pent up energy and with a trip on the horizon things are ok! But I feel like I have lots of free time to just sit here blogging, or reading a book when I enjoy being proactive more than any of those things.

So projects:

Evan sketch for his birthday.
Something for Sarah that I can make for HER birthday.
My gas can extravaganza.
Sleuthing in the branch.
Getting set up on a couple dates.
Triathalon? Soon?
Leather bag for camping and such.

and for today:

Eclipse with Maria and the girls 12:30pm.
Work from 4:15-8:30pm.

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