202

I'm glad someone got something out of it. My voice shook, hands trembled, and I almost let a few tears escape at the end, but I managed to rangle the whole thing in before that happened. And not a drop spilled out. Zonino!

I really don't do well talking in front of people if it's longer than about 5 minutes. As each minute goes by the pressure goes up, my voice starts to give and I can't look at my audience. It's not that I'm afraid of them or anything, intimidated or worse, I just get super uncomfortable.

But I'm glad someone got SOMETHING out of it.


------

I'm interested in everyone.
I can't tell if it's me just being super enthused, or if it's my calling, or if it's some kind of strange phase I'm in. I'm feeling reckless and OUT there. That hasn't happened for awhile, and as good as I feel I can't help but it's some kind of offset from what's been going on at workouts.

Split personality.
One second I'm rational, the next second all sense of reason goes flying out the window and I have no idea how my feet got placed where they are.
I've tried to talk about it with people, but it's either been blown off like not a big deal, or not talked all the way through. Talking things out, it's just what I do. It's what I need and the way I do things. So when there's no one to talk it out with, as much as I can try to figure things out on my own- I'm not hearing it out loud, seeing alternative perspectives or acknowledging other views. It's all me, in my head. Hows that for a recipe of utter meltdown phenomena?

Suck. 2 weeks left of school and I did ZERO studying over the break. I feel like they should make the semester about 3 weeks shorter than they are, just get things over a little sooner. I'd feel better about cramming more stuff in if we could just end quicker. By the end I feel so burnt out and uncaring that it never yields spectacular results.

I kinda feel like fleeing the country ( but that's pretty normal for a girl like me).



Is this ok?

201

Yesterday was a big test. Christmas is the next one.
I tried super hard to be good yesterday. Only having one serving, drinking my weight in water so I'd feel fuller, and taking a smallish bite of each kind of pie ( except the cheesecake because... I hate cheesecake). It was nice, but as evening wore on I got the munchies and almost lost it.
I kinda felt like I had. I mean, there was food spilling out of the fridge, suffocating the table, and bombarding the kitchen bar and it doesn't help that Thanksgiving seriously might be my favorite holiday- because of all the nummylicious food. I kept drinking more and more water I felt like I was drowning myself.
Anyways.

So it was with dread that I made my way to the gym this morning, and more importantly- the tell-all scale.

But guess what? I didn't gain AT ALL. In fact I lost .8 of a lb.


I passed the first big test with flying colours. Yes indeed. But now with all the leftovers it's going to be hard not to snag a snack here and there. I could eat mashed potatoes and gravy till the end of time but I'm hoping that by taking the time to express my awe in the .8 of a lb that maybe I won't let myself get into the habit of mindlessly snacking and pleasing my taste buds.


And it's back to the gym at 6 so. Awesome.

200 {A Day Of Thanks}

This year has helped me learn possibly more than any others. Possibly. The year I turned 19 was a pretty big year, and the year after that. Regardless obviously I have much to be grateful for. I love being able to set an entire day aside to really contemplate how blessed I am, and how much I have in fact been given. The last couple months in particular.

Things That Come To Mind?

1. My membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The scriptures. My testimony. My Institute class.
2. My newfangled callings and all the joy and experience I hope to gain from them.
3. My parents, for giving me an opportunity to better myself for the rest of my life. And my family for loving me unconditionally.
4. Dan, Patrick, Ethan, Natalie, Emily, Kelly, Greg, Chelsea- for working with me on my overall help, pushing me to new limits, never doubting my abilities for a second, taking the time to know me, educating me, and for helping me see the results I've been looking for, for the past ten years. You've made me feel [[limitless]].
5. Biscian(Buzzy), Dave, Brent, Tim, Jared, Ryan, Pauline, Michelle, Tammy, Annica, and Tarisha {my teammates}. Thanks for supporting me as I support you, for cheering me on, forgetting the mistakes I make and for making me feel a part of something bigger than myself. We are all seeing results because of what we are doing for each OTHER. You also have made me feel [[limitless]].
6. Parents for paying for this years schooling-Daddy for helping with Mathematics, though I know both of us frequently cry (just me) gnash and grind our teeth at how frustrating my lack of understanding can be
7. My house, my sanctuary {my room}. There's nowhere I'd rather be than home and in my den. In 21 years of living it only took me 20 years to get to that point. Go me.
8. The entire Music industry. It's my therapy, and it continually amazes me that they come out with even better tunes, new sounds, and great beats time and time again. It's inspiration and motivation, my determination and expectation. It makes me feel deeper, run faster, see further, worship more meaningfully, and heightens every experience and relationship it accompanies.
9. The travel experiences I've had ( Italy, Sicily, Guatemala, Australia, Thailand, and the ones in the future). I like the person that they've made me. The timely opportunities to put myself OUT there, and for the encouragement, support, and push that my parents dowl out in droves.
10. Nature, Earth, the Cosmos, whatever you want to call it. It's all exquisite, and good, and right. Sunshine, trees, wildflowers, rivers, waterfalls, mountains, volcanoes, etc.
11. the Office. Yes, it's on the list. It might sound unhealthy, obsessive, or wrong- but this show has honestly brought a happiness into my life that I didn't know existed. I can't explain it, but I connect with that show on a personal level that just.. blows my mind every single time. It makes me happy when I'm not. It makes me laugh when I'm sobbing hysterically. It calms me down when I feel desperate, uncontrolled or alone. I find reasons to change the person that I AM from inside this show. It's always subtle, the messages for me are hidden between the satirical humor, boring life situations and scandal, but they are there.
12. My animals. If they were people, they would in fact be my best friends. Always excited to see me, always ready to play. They cuddle with me when I'm sick, and push the door open when I'm crying, excersize with me and trust me completely.
13. G. He opened me up. Entirely. The first person that made me consider that who I am, isn't such a bad thing. I will never be sad that it's over, but always happy that it happened. He saved me, from me.
14. Brooke (M). You saved my life on countless occasions. You took care of me when I couldn't do it for myself. You never gave up, never quit- and I gave you every reason in the book to leave me be. I love you. And I'm glad that you passed the change you made in me, TOO me, to give to someone else. And I hope I can find that person to nurture. :D
15. Kim (S). You could have left. Said there was nothing I could do. Made me feel stupid, kicked me out, cringed away from me, but you didn't. You stayed. You helped. You didn't give up. I would NOT be here if it wasn't for you. Thanks for trusting me, and for making me feel like I could trust you.
16. MW, for forgiving me. AA, for always being an example.
17. Meggae Reggae. I honestly don't know WHAT I would do without you. I'm glad you didn't freak when I skulked over to your bed. Thanks for listening to me, even though you probably had NO idea what I was talking about. You just being there made the difference, and you know what I love about this friendship? It's that I feel I could go years without seeing you ( not that THAT should EVER happen!) and we would get together like no time had passed between us at all. It will never be uncomfortable, and I'm glad that we met in the worlds most unlikely place: Jacob Freaking Lake because it makes everything even more extraordinary. Love you birdie! :D
18. Justin Bieber. I always feel like you're singing TO me. One Time. And it never fails to make me grin.
19. All the things that make me happy to be a woman ( mascara, blush, cute shoes and clothes, perfume, jewlery, curves, purses/bags, etc)
20. All types of self expression.

Other things? No particular order.

21.Colour
22. Inside jokes
23. Double takes
24. Word play
25. Photography
26. Planes and cars
27. Money
28. S.K.
29. Olympics
30. Crazy Nature Phenomenas
31. Post Secret
32. Biggest Loser
33. Robert Smidt
34. Kangaroos
35. Oceans
36. Respect
37. Curiousity
38. Perspective
39. My Tongan Family
40. The beautiful bed of roses

Still more..

41. Nummylicious water
42. All technology that helps communication- cells, facebook, skype, email, webcams, etc.
43. Grapefruit
44. Education
45. Chinese food
46. In floor heating
47. Honesty
48. Mariam Berry Pie
49. the "plank"
50. Portable DVD player
51. Saturn 2003, 3 d00r-Oscar
52. Full lips, and the newly aquired dimple
53. Finished laundry
54. Scarfs
55. Memory
56. Instinct
57. Passion
58. Nutritional Values on Food
59. Food scales
60. Tweezers :D
61. Nair
62. Warmth
63. Movies
64. Long drives
65. Cemetaries
66. Rollercoasters
67. Accents
68. Blogs
69. Russian Twists :P
70. Books
71. Rainexx
72. Lemon Polish
73. Chapstick
74. Alone time
75. Love
76. Butterflies
77. Change
78. Democracy
79. Conservation
80. The United States police system
81. Creativity
82. Children
83. the Alphabet
84. Acronymns
85. Spontinaeity
86. Sweat
87. Soap
88. Shawn and Carolin. Baby Tyler
89. Weddings
90. Time. Tik Tok
91. Being up high, looking down
92. Wind
93. Puppy kisses
94. Duner
95. Dance
96. Poetry
97. Art, whatever that means ha ha!
98. Garden
99. Letters
100. Lists

199

Today I made a big leap. It took a little while. I was super uncomfortable for about 15 minutes and then just as I turned to the people next to me to make conversation one of the girls asked me what my name was. I met Addy, Whitney, Melissa, Emily, and Davin.

Whew! Hopefully I remember their names and can find some way to get to know everyone better. Also Scott was there but for some reason we stilled have crossed each others paths in order to talk. I need to text him about missionary birthdays anyways so maybe that can open things up a little bit.

I saw Jessica doing some art today. I had no idea she had that kind of talent, it was incredible. And I give my talk next week. I'm really excited about it and I while I hope that just one person will take something from it and understand better the concept of forgiveness, I feel as though I was given this topic because it's something that I'm passionate about, perhaps needed to learn more about and grew from.

I hope it does that for someone else as well. But for now I'm just happy that by enduring some torturing moments of awkward that things felt easier by the time I took off to head on home.

Note to self-get new tires, because mine are slipping all over the road. Also. Spray windshield with ice repellent. I'm really tired, have a weird headache and have a pretty hectic week in front of me. But I'm feeling calmer.

Hoo-rah.

198

Lost 3 more lbs for a total of 22 lbs.

I dunno, I guess I'm just tired.

197

Writing a personal ad? For me?
I wonder what I'd write. I have no thoughts on this right now, but I would really like to experiment with it. I wonder what I'd say about myself, and what I think would go well with my personality... interesting. I don't know how I would narrow myself down into a couple sentences. I don't really understand how anyone does it? Everyone could write one billion books that had to do all about them because we are so complicated.. all of us.

Chat session with Sarah Lynne. It gave me a lot to think about.. along with everything that I already HAVE been thinking about. Just things like why I do things the way that I do. And about how my experiences are the only things that I really have to go off of. And just the way I think in general. These were the things I was already thinking about, and not what I discussed with Sarah Lynne.

continuing...
And about how I don't believe the Lord made a mistake when He gave me certain personality traits. There has been a lot of talk about changing qualities. Physical and Spiritual. And I understand there are things that I definitely could change. Like concentrating more on other people then perhaps myself. I don't really know why I keep falling back into this trap. I think about me and I'm never really happy. Not that I loathe myself or anything, but I don't see all the things that I see in everyone else- which I guess would be a good reason why I do try and focus on other people so much. It saves ME from feeling like I'm.. not doing what I'm supposed to be doing I guess. There are other things, I could try harder in school I guess, put more effort into Arithmetic. Act instead of react.
Calm down.
Trust the Lord more.

The list goes on and on. But there are things that I worry about changing. Sometimes I feel as though I should be more social ( ya know, putting myself out there or whatever). And that's all fine and dandy. But I worry about losing the talents I have BECAUSE I'm not the loudest one in a crowd, or spotlight of the event, center of attention. I like being able to pick up on the moods of other people because I'm not distracted by my own. I enjoy having people feel safe talking to me because I can keep things to myself. I love feeling trusted. That's not to say that anyone that is or could be more outgoing then me CAN'T be those things. But I feel those are things that I've been given instead of outstanding confidence. Does that make sense?


I dunno. I sure talk about myself a heap for someone that truly tries to focus on other people huh? I guess that's what happens in conversations sometimes, and on a blog. That part makes sense because it's mine.

Anyways. We'll see how things go this weekend.
And I get to see Dave tomorrow. It's nice to have little things to look forward to, even though it will never amount to anything probably most likely. I wish he knew that just by seeing him tonight it made my entire day a little bit better. It made me smile. And laugh. It wasn't a big deal, but that one thing made my night a bigger deal and a better deal then what was going on before I got there. So thanks, even though you like many others will never read this.

196

Tahoe is sitting on my lap, I'm typing around him. He's pretty cute, giving me puppy kisses ( which consist of him blowing air in my face, when I blow air in his), and cuddling.

He's a life savor. This morning has a parade of pathetic.
A strange thought occurred to me as a traipsed down to the stadium lot this morning in want of my shiny black Oscar. It was bright, sunny. Windy, and glacial. The thought...

I'm not good at being me. I can't really explain what I mean, as it's all subjective and swirling around with no aim inside my aching noggin. I just keep feeling like.. I'm more then this.
But day by day goes by.. and I'm not more then anything I was the day before. Just the same person. Same problems. Same routine. Same whatever.

I keep thinking it'll happen. I guess it's because I keep looking for it.

Maybe looking for it is the problem, but is it so bad that I'd like to find some real personal happiness. Is it so bad that instead of cheering and being so happy for everyone else that I try and find something that makes me happy, because it's for me? I don't know. I guess that's pride right.


Yeah ok.


I'd like to be chosen. Chosen first, and not picked last.

195

19 lbs. Things are looking good. Except that today I probably ate my weight in delicious brownies that Victoria made ( curse her! :D) But what can ya do? I'll just work super hard this week to get things back on track. Yeah, that's it. I'm only seeing it gone in a couple places, and not the places that I was actually aiming for. I wonder how that works. But I guess it's got to show in the places that I WANT it to eventually right? {{Right.}}

It's been awhile since I've been on this. I guess I was waiting for something spectacular or interesting to write about, something intensely hilarious or horrifying- but the truth is life is pretty mediocre these days. Which is cool, things are about to get busy this coming week and I can already feel the stress levels rocketing. At least bio lab is over. *VOMITS VIOLENTLY*. Not that I passed (because I'm honestly not sure if I did), but I'm just glad that it's over for now. For a one credit class I had to do more then all my other classes combined. You tell ME how THAT works, and I'll bump butts with you. Probably a couple of times.

_____

I was asked to give a talk in 2 weeks about "forgiving others and yourself". The latter is going to be my focus because that's where I've found I struggle the most. And I don't think that my ward has issues with not forgiving people. -that's an interesting concept-NOT forgiving others?- I already know exactly what I want to get across. Number one is that if we accept we are children of God, then we also must accept that he loves and is willing to forgive us. Two? That feeling not good enough, to far gone, or not capable of being better are not feelings that come from the Lord, but that come from someone else. And Three? I have a heap of ideas for this. Thoughts about forgiving ourselves being part of the process to eternal salvation, that if we don't allow ourselves to use the atonement then what did Christ come here for? Lots of ideas. I guess I'll s.p.i.n. that around the next 2 weeks and see what I come up with.

I'm excited. And it will give me a chance to introduce myself to my ward, because up until & including now I have been unintentionally [anonymous]. It'll be nice to break the shell that I've created for myself and that's something I'm actually nervous about. Change is good though. Yeah?

___

Now on to something that's SMIAE (slightly more interesting and exciting!) 2nd date with "Sir Knight". Now let me get this across, I'm in no way hopeful or speculative about what the future may hold. It seems like once I feel safe is saying what I think will happen, things go the opposite way-rather quickly. Who knows why? I most certainly don't! :D I'm not trying to downplay the awesome, or feel discouraged (because I feel anything but). However, I only have my experiences to go off of. 1) Insanity 2) Induced sanity by primary source 3) Exiting to join some kind of army(US or Foreign). With a record like that it's hard not to get skeptical or super overly cautious. But I guess that's where I'm at until I make some kind of break--through. Whatever that means. The point is, this guy is unreal. I've never been treated with so much genuine respect, courtesy and manners in my entire life.

My ENTIRE life.


I don't know what planet he's from, who taught him to be a gentlemen, or made him practice in the ways of traditional courtship, but I thank them overtly. It's not that anything is established in any way whatsoever, except a blossoming friendship, and nothing extraordinary has happened (except the extreme politeness and composure) but I can say this- for what HAS happened, and the opportunites that I've accepted to spend time with him, it has completley and absolutley altered my perspective on that particular area of life.

So "Sir Knight". If I never see you again, thanks for the brand spankin' new outlook and great respect you gave me excessively. It was a nice and much needed change of pace.

__

This quote my Mahatma Ghandi has had me thinking: "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they attack you, and then YOU win."
___

random tidbits:
-->I don't enjoy staying up late anymore. And I don't understand how I did it for so many years.
-->While 2012 was an incredibly well put-together film, with some of the best graphics I've ever seen, AND indeed one of my now favorite movies, I still love "Day After Tomorrow" much more. And I still haven't figured out as to why that's the case.
-->It's a miracle. I'm passing Mathmatics.
-->I believe in face to face encounters, no matter what the situation. I guess that means I don't think that technology is saving us, though I use it every single day.
-->I do believe I'll reach my goal weight BEFORE Christmas. Everybody dance!
--> The people that matter to me most, are the ones that don't "accept me for who I am", but that continue to expect & encourage progress for the better from me every single day.
--> Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, my favorite.
--> I'm ready to go on another trip. Whether abroad or road I don't give a crap. But I'm ready.
--> Zonino!

194

Since I started to try and lose weight using my own methods ( about 2 weeks before I started my program 5 weeks ago) I've lost 17 lbs in total.

12 of those have come off since the program.
I'm currently in 12th with 5 weeks left.
Where I'm at right now I need to lose 18 lbs within that time period. ( before christmas)

And after that I'm looking to shave off another 30, in nine weeks.
The goal is to reach my goal weight in...23 weeks. That's averaging 2-4 lbs every week. Which is completely do-able.

With 17 lbs lost, I still haven't noticed any big changes in my body composition. My face is a little thinner, my legs have toned up incredibly ( but the problem was never my legs so that's a little.. defeating. I'm looking for some belly shaping and flattening. hmm..), my chest is smaller (almost by a full size! and I'm so happy!), and my arms are toning nicely as well. I see some changes, but when 17 lbs is lost you'd expect to see something more noticeable ya know? A change in the way my clothes fit for instance.. or having some of those clothes just be too big. Ya know, something encouraging to help get me over the next hump.

I mean I'm not particularly discouraged. I feel stronger and healthier. I enjoy being more aware of what I eat. And I actually see a ton of benefits to being a calorie counter, and I'm happy I am one now. I'd rather know...than eat mindlessly.. not knowing.

So this week it's another push to lose.. I'm going for about 3 lbs. I mean 5 would be ideal I'd like to get my name up on that list for the grand prize ( the competition is the least of my concern though, someone else can win as long as I learn how to maintain my weight and keep what I've lost off). So... time for some hardcore workoutage.

193

"Last night's date" would ordinarily be something I'd chronicle in immense detail. And speedily. I mean, part of me is scratching my head, curious as to why I didn't wake up early this morning to get the word out(of me before I exploded). But then...I'm not really counting it. I'm calling it a practice run. The next one ( because there will most definitely be a next one) will be "the" date that I'd like to write about. That's not to say there weren't some very enjoyable moments throughout the M.C. [mayhem concocted] evening:

1. The opportunity itself
2. A triumphant win against the Spartans
3. "Music man" and his unprecedented skill at coming up with comical rhymes on key
4. The comfort of having 2 more people that I kindasorta know make an appearance
5. Arriving back at my own heaven-on-earth safely, even though it was horrifying late
6. The courtesy goodnight phone call

And even though there were alot of things off about it, it had nothing to do with the individuals involved- merely a situation gone awry. And what can be done about that right? Right. So.. moving on.


The after effects of it have been inconveniently lasting. The "campfire" migraine finally surrendered but the queasiness it still wreaking havoc. And let me just say- I do NOT enjoy sitting around a smokey campfire. It prickles your eyes, blurrs contacts, ensures everything on your body smells like ash- and because such everything you touch smells like soot (car seats, the bed when sitting down to take shoes off, the rest of your clothes when you throw the ash covered clothes into your hamper, you're entire closet BECAUSE of the clothes, etc. And then you have to shower to get the smog out of your pores, detached from your hair,etc) Can campfire make you feel nauseous for hours afterwards? Or is that the byproduct of something else? I didn't eat anything last night so it's not food poisoning or anything wack like that. Maybe it's lack of a healthy REM cycle that I'm so used to getting (I'm completely spoiled). There could be any number of reasons, I guess.

Meh.

My new favorite movie is coming out. I haven't seen it yet. But it's my favorite. 2012. And I've got tickets!

192

Never assume there's always a point to someone web logging.
Hence, the following...

I retained a dream- I guess an idea, which makes perfect sense because as soon as I bid buenas noches to several cherished chums my noggin collided with my pillow. I was out like Paige in the New Year! The reason: my bed of roses.

Why is mine better than yours? Let me count the ways..:
1. monsterous
2. best comforter in the world.
3. (3) superb pillows
4. not too soft, not to hard

I'm getting braggy, back to point. The pie in the sky.
The globe, humanity milling about. A general sense of security and prosperity. Heaps of golden sunshine, resplendent green hills, purple moutains, and navy bodies of water. Just glancing around it seemed a pretty choice place to be. I began to walk/glide. After awhile the scenery hadn't change but my overall sense of "place" did. {{Puzzled.}} I couldn't figure it out. The general atmosphere was uplifting.... children giggling softly, an elderly couple entangling delicate fingers while sitting peacefully, dogs playing. Everyone seemed to be loving their neighbor. And I guess that's when I realized... that's just not good enough. Because we're supposed to love the Lord first.

When did we flip those first two, and most important commandments?
I awakened to an excited golden star spilling and splashing sunshine all over the walls of my room, and onto my face.
Quite the "dream." Right?

It reminded me of the song I'm writing "Dissolving Space and Finding Place"

I don't know about anyone else, but things are getting scary out there (to me). I can't believe I'm saying that, even living within the CKC (close knit community) that I find myself today. A couple weeks ago my Anthropology class attacked "the family". NOT cool. We had a discussion about it and I kept hoping and praying that someone would put a stop to the madness, only after I'd left the discussion ( trying to find a safe place to sit and think and cry) did I realize that I had the power to do that just as much as anyone else that knows the importance OF the family. I worried about my devotion because of the things I DIDN'T do that day in class, but I suppose that's how the learning process goes. You just screw up sometimes, and then you learn (hopefully) and try to never do it again.

And isn't it interesting that after awhile of sitting and thinking, I realized with MY family was where I needed to be in order think it through. Ironic? Not so much.
Anyways, enough about that.

The weekend is here, and with it comes one exciting event, taking place.. tomorrow night. I've been waiting awhile for this.
Oh. And I'm hardly nervous which makes this even better.
Yes yes yes yes yes. :D

191

This thing sucks.

190

Halloween?
Dude, I don't even celebrate the holiday. Not really anyways. I mean I'll get dressed up because normally there are places around town where you can get discounts when shopping (Not that I went shopping... let's face it, I'm the cheapest person I know). And if you have a costume you can get in places free ( like the corn maze- not that I went). And I mean, I had a really *spirit fingers!* creative time making my Halloween costume because it required my creative juices to ooze out creatively.. but really?

Lamest holiday on the calendar. That and St. Patrick's Day.

And this year sorta ( sorta? no.. completely) confirmed my feelings on it. I don't know when Halloween became a day for a world wide slut fest. But somewhere along the way it certainly did. I mean, if you're a whore- then dress like it all the time. That would be less offensive and not as "telling" persey. I purchased tickets to the Howl because it was supposed to be the sickest dance party EVER! {2 years ago it definitely was}- and the theme was Alice in Wonderland! How could they go wrong right? Best Disney movie since WWII!! Turns out it was incredibly sick, but not because it was COOL.

"What genre of music is this?"
"uh..."
"Do they have a name for this kind of garbage?"
"Hey! Is that guy even wearing anything?"
"Hey.. is that a girl?!? She must not have known that this was a party where OTHER people where going to be present.. and not her bedroom closet..."
"You only bought HALF an outfit?? Oh, you LOST the other half right?"
" What is that person supposed to be? I can think of several names, but none are what you'd call "appropriate" "

This is a portion of the conversation I had with myself while trying to find a way to sync my body to some hardmetalrockpunkhiphoprockandroll tunage ( because that was the whole freaking point in going). It didn't happen. Honestly I don't think I even really tried. I can't dance with my eyes closed, and that's what I kept trying to do.
Needless to say- though I'm going to say it anyways- the only uplifting part of the evening was hanging out with Sarah Lynne, wearing my homemade costume, and watching the Massive Monkies break dance for like.. 15 minutes. Honestly. That's it.

So, 2 thumbs down for Halloween.
Let's get pumped for Thanksgiving!