326

.the last couple days have been absolutely madcapped.
I couldn't be more grateful.

First off, Heather's going away party.
Apples to Apples. [you can't go wrong with a good word game]
The most beautiful pink, green, and yellow cupcakes with sprinkles you've ever seen. [& probably some of the most unhealthy]. Chips. Dark Chocolate B.r.o.w.n.i.e.s. Water.
Smurf.
TrampTalk [kinda like HempTalk].
Embarrassing stories. [warm milk, ,wrapping things up, chapstick]
3 shooting stars.
And a whole lot of laughter. Of course.

We decided you can categorize guys&girls into a couple different categories.
Legit. Categories.

Guys:
the Kiss and Dismiss:
This is where they hang out with you long enough to get some mac&cheese, and then ditch you. Raise your hand if this has ever happened to you OR if you've ever done it... Yeah, that's what I thought.

the Hold Em' and Fold Em':
They hold your hand and... that's about it.
Rock..in..

the Hang Out to Make Out:
nough' said.

and.. Double Trouble:
Double dating made into an art.
No single dates.

We're thinking about some other categories but I think we covered the most important ones, and don't worry-we've got some for the ladies also.

the Kiss to Diss:
Yep.

In UT: the Flirt to Convert:
Come one, you know it's true.

the Lazy or Crazy:
This is a tough one. You're either TOO passive, and don't do enough to snaggle a man, or you're TOO overbearing, which scares the guy away.

I think there was one more, but I can't recall it at the moment. The point is, we had a really good time-and I'm going to miss Heather SO freaking much. MUCH.


Last night was a little wild too.
Fry night at apartment #12.
Karrie came with me last night. It was funny, I didn't realize how many people from SV were there, until Albert mentioned it and tried to get us all to sing our highschool song. What the heck. We had a little jam session, and the food was really good because I was STARVING, I got to see James and we decided to put together a little "crafternoon" (we're gonna make some shirts, paint, just be crafty crafty). Should be fun. Cliff jumping Saturday sometime.

ugh. I'm really excited about the next little while. Apartment. Comedy Show. Fishing. House to myself. Work. Cliff jumping. School. New Job possibly.


Sighs.
Things are feeling better.

325

flickr.
{Fishing}
Never thought I'd see that happen.
I must be really trying to stretch things, feeling open to just about everything.
Yep.

I picked up a couple applications today, and tried to find an apartment I wanted to check out, and failed. (I'm geographically dyslexic-seriously) I'll try again tomorrow.
My family is going on vacation for a couple days so I'll have the whole house to myself-that will be NICE. And weird.

But I've decided to really push my work ethic to the grind this last month and a half of work(at the LAC). Working doubles and hours that I don't want to will be a part of it, but until I find another job I've got to milk this for ALLLLLLL it's worth.

80hoursoneverypaychecknomatterwhat.

Time to step things up a notch so, here we go!

324

"When you take a step towards the Savior, he runs to you" -Erika

I couldn't face the world today. Just having one of those episodes ya know? I slept in crazy-insane late (most of that was due to a really awful night of um.. ZERO sleep), did some laundry, dug through my room again and pulled another huge, industrial-sized garbage bag of stuff out for [Somebody's Attic], then headed back to bed till' about 4pm. Brought in my laundry from off the line [i.love.that.sunshine.smell], played with some hemp and beads [thanks.Heather.], while listening to some tunes[blue.october.], slept some more...

I think when I begin to feel rejected in some way (any way?) I start to reject. I turned off my phone, and when I turned it back on didn't bother to get back to people that had text messaged me, called me, etc. I just said "screw it" in my head and turned it back off again.

Just an episode I suppose.
Things got better after I went running.

The inservice went well.
Work tomorrow to look forward to.
Moving out to look forward to.
......gosh.


believe it can be done.

323

I just can't seem to get out of this.
No fire.
No motivation.
No inspiration.
I'm 80 years old and ready to die.

322

Oh gosh, that time has come.




Moving out.

321

{I've figured it out!}
You see because I've gone back and forth on this one billion times, the fact that things have been solid (in my mind) for awhile (meaning at MOST 3 weeks) says to me that something needs to be done, and done fast. That explains the frantic feeling, because while I KNOW that a change (in my mind) is inevitable, I don't want it to change to some kind of negative like:

I'm too frustrated.
I don't feel like me.
Man, I'm ugly.

Or a combination of any of those.

So you see, that's why I've been stressing. I'm so glad I GET that now, even though it does absolutely nothing to change the present panic. Knowing feels IS progressive regardless. It's been revolutionary. Freeing even. I had all these preconceived ideas and expectations about how I thought things should, would, could go? And now it's the opposite.

There's absolutely zero pressure. And I have zero expectations. Zero, zero, zero, zero.
I'll do my thing, he'll do his. And "what will be will be."

I'm sure he'll like that idea. Right? I mean, sure, I can see it sucking hard at some point in the future but.. whatever, I'm good with it for now and I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just gonna have fun, laugh a bunch, and have a great time doing what I do best-whatever that is.

In other news, I've lost another 2lbs, and more inches!
Woot!
3 around my hips!
1 around my waist!
1 around my thigh,
1 around my upper arm.
[6inches]

I mean, there's not much more I can lose before I start losing muscle too- and people, I'm 20 LBS AWAY FROM MY GOAL WEIGHT! I guess that's the wrong way to put it-how bout' this? If I lose 20 more lbs, I will be exactly where my body to fat ratio says I SHOULD be ( and that's not BMI-which is trash-in case you didn't already know ). I'm stoked, and it's totally doable and realistic between now and the end of the summer. Cake walk.

I.love.Patrick! Great personal trainer and I owe him...so much. He's taught me so much about variety, and goal setting, and he's always motivating me to be better- and he NOTICES my progress and takes special care to acknowledge that. And I'm grateful he does, even if no one else can see it because it's been so gradual. I should probably do something awesome for him, like get him a ten punch pass to the pool, movie tickets, or some kind of somethin' somethin' for being so freaking rad! I saw a picture of me that was taken right before I started to make some changes.

I almost burst into tears looking at it. I was so unhealthy, and sad, and just TIRED all the time. Now I have energy boozging (boo-zshing) out my brain, I'm so happy, I'm healthy, and I love my body and all it can do! It hasn't been a diet, it's been a lifestyle change and he's been an unchanging support.

Love.Him.

So for today:
I'm supposed to be making some kind of fruit pizza for the work party tonight.
I definitely need to spend some time with Sarah and see what the HECK has been going on.
At some point I'd certainly like a nap.
And that's honestly all I've got going on.

Good day. Good.Day.

320

319

Sitting in the bowling alley 2 1/2 games in. The place is crowded with people, the sizzle of frying foods, greasy odors, pins dropping, and loud techno pop- the way a bowling alley should be. A couple moments later (it could have been a minute, or 1/2 hour- I never really know with him) we look around to find it's just us, with some of the workers observing our game.

G leans over and whispers..
"uh, Chels-I think somethings going on."
"What do you mean? Like a conspiracy?"
"Well, YEAH- we're the only two minorities in all of CV"


{{pause}}

"You know what this means right?"
"What?"
"That I can try to tap dance, do the robot, and bowl all at the same time."

{{pause}}

"Special. Ed."


It was more than just "fun" or "enjoyable", freak kids-it was PARAMOUNT, and I LOVE when he comes back because, well. Here's the thing. He's all hardcore-Israeli-army-guy for most of the year, so when he comes backs he gets to let off some steam and seriously relax-which turns into a lot of laughing, joking around, and witty sarcasm. I laugh more in those 2-4 dates I have with him every year, then I do in-well, awhile I guess.
We decided that the worst way to die would be by "the everything at once" aka TEAO

sneezing, coughing, burping, barfing, sweating, cramping, etc- all at once.
It would be awful. Torturous.

Anyway, it was a phenomenal night-ugh and I'm going to miss him so much! I'll see him one more time before he leaves next Tuesday. And then he won't be back until at least March. Sadness. But I'll survive, I always do.

318

OhmyGOSH.

{I'm eating tuna salad, and it's weirding me out.}


"So I kinda feel like every time I decide to jump in with two feet, you back out with one."
The way I see is, if things haven't come together this far along, then it probably won't um..ever.
I don't know how to feel about it. Sad? Regretful? Relieved? Happy? Freak, I dunno. I think it's all of those combined.

[Sagrelievy.]


I want to break you down.
To see what this is about.
Come on.


so close to something better left unknown

317

Harvard Sailing Team : Boy Will Be Girls- check it out.



They say people come and go, but the truth is no one really disappears from your life. People never leave, their roles just change.

316

Yep, I'm about to watch an episode of "Garage Mahal".
I just woke up (well, not just) and have Isaac till' about 1pm this afternoon.
After that I'm going for a nice run down at the track and then back to make some dinner and head off to work.
Talisa is finally on her way back from German camp. I've missed the adorable little mench. Can't wait to see her ( and use her straightener because my hair's been nothing but crazy curls this last week, and I'm ready for something a little more TAME).

Not sure what's happening with Chicago anymore, it's actually looking like it might not happen-not sure why I'm surprised, this seems to happen every time I try and plan a sweet trip with anyone but my family. So I'm still going somewhere ( and it'll probably still be Chicago) but.. just in case I'm checking out some other places I haven't been for awhile.

Sighs.
Jet skiing Saturday afternoon. Hopefully.

315

{I've never felt so lost and static in my entire life.}

flickr.tumblr.

314

{Okay..}
..the fireworks just keeps on exploding, becoming more and more vexing as time creeps on by. I understand only one lesson I'm supposed to be taking from this- and I suppose it could apply to all the things surfacing right now, but I only know FOR SURE what the lesson is for one of these... dilemmas. And I feel lucky.

I figured the ONE out during Sacrament Meeting on Sunday. I was settled there all ears to the talks about what it means to take Jesus' name upon us, the example that our Savior has set for us, etc. [[And it hit me.]] Because never in my entire entity have I been more self aware then I am right now. It's not that I think I'm sloppy all the time but I've taken extreme consideration these last several weeks to notice the things I say and do more carefully, what I wear with more scrutiny, the places I go and the people I decide to spend time with because I know that {S&E} is/are watching and waiting for me to slip up.

It's obnoxious yes- and mean- but I know that I've set my standards higher this last little while, and that it's been an opportunity for me to learn how to be an influence-er, instead of just being influenced (something that I've been praying for). My head disentangled slightly, and a portion of my saddened heart hushed at the resolve, my determination to be even better increased because I understand what I'm supposed to be doing now, and even more than that? Exactly WHY I'm supposed to be going through this. Because I suppose there's never been a reason this close to my sphere before.

Most of my friends share the same beliefs that I have or understand the system. None of them that have different beliefs have ever been up in my business about it, trying to tear it apart and undermine everything I do- until now- so things have changed for me. I was trying to find a way to better step things up a notch, a way to be proactive about THIS in my life because I felt I reached a lull. I wasn't sure what else to do- then this happened.

Be careful what you wish for ;)

Now that I understand I can fully appreciate this trial in my life. For a long time I've just felt confused, abandoned, and devastated. Now I feel like it's an {{honor}} to have the opportunity to represent the Church as best as I can too my friends and the people I care about the most, with the Savior's name. I'm actually HAPPY about it. XD

I had an enlightening heart to heart with him {S} Saturday night. I was sitting up late (um.. 10pm is really late right?) reading the Ensign in my warm snuggly bed when he popped into my head and wouldn't leave. I threw him a text asking him if he was busy, because I'd like to talk to him. He just so happened to have time? yeah right-this NEVER happens with us. EVER.

I tried to think of somewhere soothing and quiet we could stroll and converse, but nothing came to mind and let's be honest- I knew if we DID do that I would end up being spiked and leeched to death by vicious mossies. So we drove ( well, I drove).
We talked mostly about things that don't matter, but then I asked him to please share his story with me (with no interruptions or comments from me) so that I could better understand where he was coming from. He wanted to know why- and I told him it was because I felt my friendship with him was suffering and that I'd just been thinking about it heaps ( all true)- so he spilled.

I'm glad I understand better where he's coming from, and why he's at where he is, and why he's doing the things that he does to ME. And while I don't agree and am saddened by the way he's let certain experiences in his life affect HIM so negatively, it does help to have more background information, and I know it will help me make the decisions that I need to next.

It made me realize the difference between letting your heart break into a million pieces when life is unfair, and letting it break OPEN to something new.

313

I tried one of those "The Way I See It" things on Starbucks coffee cups. It said something about sitting down with someone that you have absolutely nothing in common with- and to just listen to them describe why they're the way that they are.

It was a pretty good night.
We just drove around and he told me his story. It's nice to understand a little better even if I don't agree in the slightest.


But it was a good moment, and a good experience to have. And I'm grateful for that.

312

{I've an elephantine encumbrance of essentials to scribble about today.}

It's always befitting to kickoff at the beginning right? Is it ever appropriate to open at the close? (besides in Harry Potter?!) That's something I'll have to consider doing- cause who knows-the repercussions could be calamitous. Don't act like they couldn't.

The nonsense commenced on Friday evening. After a [compacted] day at the grind, roasting in the buttery and boiling sunshine, barking commands at pedestrians and trying to absorb as much of "Adam's ale" as was possible it was finally time to make some quality memories with *the girls. I can't rouse the last moment that all 4 of us were in the same ballpark and IN {{close proximity}} with each other. I really can't. And if that's not the biggest oversight in my social agenda-good Gordon. Glad we ended that genius streak of abomination and intolerance. Someone might have lost an eye.
So here's what happened. We snatched some Pita Pit, then drove back to Nicole's condo, yammering and giggling nonsensically at j.a.e. (just about everything). We shimmied down on the floor, devoured our delicacies and then elected to play some Spoon Truth or Dare. Not sure if we made that up or not, but you get the gist. Spoons. The poor unfortunate soul who's reflexes betray them and don't get a spoon has to pick truth or dare. We get it. Juvenile much? Well. YEAH. We wouldn't do it otherwise.

There were some highlights-of course. Nicole ate a knee pit peanut butter and jelly sandwhich cracker concoction. And Sarah had to wear her bra over her shirt "daisy dukes, bikini's on top". Emily licked someone's car window-yep- then penned them a note that said "I licked your car, sorry about the spittle-love Emily." I was dared to phone someone and tell them that I had their rice cooker...... why Nicole came up with that, I don't know, and I never want to know because it was priceless. Straight to voice mail; "Hey buddy, I've got your rice cooker-you really pulled through for me on that one pal, you can have it back, just call me.."
And then Sarah was unlucky enough to have to do ANOTHER dare, so she called the same girl and said "Hey, I've got your rice.... in case you want it... back."

....We were high on hilarity and Ben&Jerry's ice cream, which is probably why we snorted and snickered till we wept.

What happened next is something I like to call "Fess' Up". It goes a little something like this:

Emily: "So I have a confession to make about swim team. Do you guys remember {C}, and how obnoxious he was?"
Us: "Yeah"
Emily: "Ya know how he'd sit on the wall not doing anything, and then once you flip turned he'd push off and be riding on your toes?"
Us: "How could we forget?"
Emily: " Well, I always drank a lot of water before practice so when he'd do that...I'd just pee on his head."

___

Nicole: "I cheated on {DS} with {J} junior year of high school."
Us: "Wait, what? They're like the same person"
Nicole: "..I was a junior."

___

Me: "I made out in a walk-in freezer once. There was a whole frozen pig to the left"
Them: "What did you do when you saw it?"
Me: "Pointed it out to {I}."
Them: "What did he do?"
Me: "He said "well, would ya look at that!" and started kissing me again"

___

Us: "So.. Sarah?"
Sarah: "I don't have anything to confess"

___

Gut-busting.

Memorable moments in the lives of us.

Embarrassing moments:
"I did the lunge-kiss-miss-hug"
"What in the world is that?"
" .......What do you think it was?"

pet peeves:
"I really hate old woman that have boob jobs."
"Do you see those types of people.. often?"
"Yeah, all the time at Lowe's."
"Wait, where??"
"Lowe's..."

worst fears:
"I always worry that my elbow skin is too fat.."
"Do elbows even HAVE fat?"
"..I don't know.."

secret ambitions:
"I've always wanted to be a forest ranger"
~pregnant pause~
"What...?"

paramount days:
"There was this one day that I rode my four-wheeler all day up in the hills and mountains. It was the best."
"What did you think about"
"I don't remember"

It {WAS} a dream come true. Literally. We were up till' about 3am chuckling before Sarah and I decided to call it a night- and what a wonderful night it turned out to be. I can't wait until t.n.t ( the next time)

*Sarah, Nicole, Emily

311

{This morning I saw death.}
While in the shower trying to doctor the tautness in my neck and shoulders with a healthy does of seething hot water, it happened.

A fly.
A HUGE black fly.

s.l.o.w - m.o.t.i.o.n

I watched as it calmly attempted to make it's way to some kind of destination. Where in the shower would he possibly want to arrive? Over by the razors and half empty shampoo bottles? Or maybe where the soap and loofa's rest? Who knows? He never made it. Caught in the sluice of water the beads hammered his gossamery wings and he plunged toward the tile floor. Once there I'm sure he struggled-but failed- to steer clear of the drain with gaping holes in it.

Sucked through.
Dead.

310

"It was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower"
"It really shouldn't be a problem if you have a personality"
"Why do I have a signed picture of Brent in my wallet?"
"Someone just threw a bag of pancakes at me."

309

{Lipstick has been perched on my mind.} Which is suspicious because it's never been on my mug. I've always been about gloss and polish; light natural hues-except for heavy insidious mascara cause I'm enchanted by siren eyes, but I'm starting to feel like I'd like to try a new semblance. Not only with the make-up side of things, but I'd really like to figure out something new to do with my hair.

I saw someone with the most astonishing eyebrows the other day- and I'd really like to figure out the best way to do mine. It's all about trying to find something to be proactive about. Not that I'm just sitting around doing NOTHING all day LONG, or that I really hate my face or something- but I'm feelin' it may be time for some experimentation.


So here we go.

308

i.made.a.wish.

believed.it.could.come.true.

and.for.now.I'm.
still.here.

307 [be the example; spread hope]

{{I'm a late afternoon person.}}

I'm all about mornings.. and evenings but there's something about the way sunlight sparkles on everything in the late afternoon. Every blush in the cosmos is more vibrant, sensitive and shimmered like the whole thing is done up elegantly with atmospheric make up. It makes sense, as late afternoon seems to be the most romantic and passionate time of the day, what better time then to embellish and come out matchless?- perhaps that's why I'm so smitten with it-because I think I myself feel most desirable during the late afternoon. The lighting ya know?
Tonight was eye catching.

I closed tonight at the swimming pool, and lucky me, I ended my shift at the top of the slides! It was flawless because of the holiday, not too crowded, and the people that DID come to relish "Adam's ale" left early. So there I was with a birds eye view of the facility, water glinting here and there, a seductive breeze curling the dark tresses of hair around my face, I've always enjoyed the tickle across my back and the way it plays in my eyelashes. The heat from the sun is intense, but not unpleasant. I glanced out towards where the sun was starting it's descent into the mountains. Not a cloud in the sky, but birds encompassing the blue celebrating the last little bit of daylight dissolving rapidly.
It's easy to think about the hard things going on in my life right now with a sense of hope and security that things will work out okay, when the world looks like this. It's easy to see things in a clearer perspective. Easy to take a step back and re-evaluate. I've almost got it.

A chorus of whistles blow and I take a few moments to absorb every drop and drip of this solitary moment to it's absolute fullest. Relief, even if it's for only a second.
Then it's time to hop down the stairs and help close up.

The spells broken.

_____

So here's the thing, I need a project- and I'm drawing a blank, have now for a couple weeks now- if you guys have any ideas on projects I could do, no matter what it is- let me know! I could use some ideas! I have too much time on my hands to think about all the things that are kinda hard right now! I would greatly appreciate any type of idea you bright people out there have!

{{The world is smaller than you think it is, and the people on it are more beautiful than you think}}

306

So I need to start going to Branch Prayer again. Pretty sure that was the first rudimentary thought that sounded in my noggin this morning? A little atypical-but I'll begin going again. Also, this morning I was leafing through my scriptures-for some reason the reference escapes me-but it describes the voice of the Lord. How it's a "voice of perfect mildness" and "pleasant". I don't know why I love that so much, but I guess that's exactly how I'd imagine it to be, and for SURE I'd like to have a voice like that. {{Wouldn't you?}}

Which reminds me. I read something really insightful yesterday. Here's what happened: Davin had to escape during Sunday School to go pick someone up, or meet someone (one of the two) so he pushed off his scriptures on Sara. Not sure how I acquired them by the end of block, but I let him know that I would show up to branch prayer to deliver them-for a price. Is it wrong that I flipped through his scriptures while waiting to go on a stroll with Sarah? Really it was just because they were so beautifully marked! Every colour of the rainbow spilled over almost every page- very articulate and precise. I glimpsed a quote that was scribbled in the corner of one of the pages that said something about making sure all the words we say, and all the things we do be words and things that we could do with the Lord being in the same sentence, or being in the same vicinity.

Just something that really made me think about the things I say and do I suppose.
So I had to work for the last part of the day yesterday ( Blake was a sweetheart and took the first part so that I could attend church)-Scott was there. I mean, he'll be there a lot since he's a co.worker of mine but things are knotty currently with that plight

Being blunt and obtuse? Yeah it comes across as rude and as though I'm doing it because I don't care-when quite the opposite is true. I care a lot, which is why I have to do this but it's sickening when a conversation like this ensues:

"So what are you doing for 4th of July?"
"Well, we celebrated last night Tongan style because today's Sunday."
"Oh, so how was church?"
"It was good, it was fast Sunday so there weren't talks or anything just testimony meeting"
"So you sang a lot of patriotic songs I bet?"
"Yeah"

awk.ward.pause.

"So I'm celebrating alone tonight. Everyone's gone off doing something, probably just going to make a feast and eat it all by myself. I wish there was someone I could at least enjoy the fireworks with, but looks like I'll probably be doing that alone to"

longer awk.ward.pause.

"Cool, well I'll see ya around" -walks inside-

I try hard to do the things that just feel [good] ya know? That's how I decide if it's right or wrong the most effectively, but this is thorny because I don't FEEL good about being like THAT. It's not something that brings me joy or makes me want to dance, or laugh, or sing. It just doesn't- but in the long run I know I'm doing him and myself a favor.

I hate how I always thought he was there for me when in reality .....

Guido comes back to the motherland Tuesday! Can't wait to see and embrace him. I wonder what we'll do? I know bowling is on the litany, and I know I'd really like to show him the meadow--really I just want to hunker and bunker back into the part where he's my best friend and we have memorable adventures together! I've missed that! When was the last time I had a day that I will never ever forget? Not for a long time- but with him I know that will happen.

Gabbed to Sarah last night till about 1:30am. Sighs. But it was good. We're figuring out New Zealand- the only thing that COULD potentially pose a problem is school and that's only if I get a strong feeling that I should go fall semester-because let's face it- I haven't felt that since kindergarten. Uni just isn't for me.

I need to secure another job though, for when this one terminates at the finale of the summer. I'm thinking the swim shop? Or any of the sporting goods places in the valley, I thought about PetSmart or something. ICON would be sweet. Just... something along those lines- and I'd really like to take an art class. Painting. Just something new I can do, I have so much pent up energy and with a trip on the horizon things are ok! But I feel like I have lots of free time to just sit here blogging, or reading a book when I enjoy being proactive more than any of those things.

So projects:

Evan sketch for his birthday.
Something for Sarah that I can make for HER birthday.
My gas can extravaganza.
Sleuthing in the branch.
Getting set up on a couple dates.
Triathalon? Soon?
Leather bag for camping and such.
Bedroom.
Wardrobe.
Calling.


and for today:

Eclipse with Maria and the girls 12:30pm.
Work from 4:15-8:30pm.
Volleyball?-workout-

305 "Gran, I'm not twelve years old." "Prove it"

Roused late this morning, because of an agitated evening. First it was too sweltering, then too chilly. Too many layers, then not enough. My toes uncovered, then ears uncovered-both of which NEED to be covered in order to get a befitting REM cycle. Absolutely menching. But I woke up this morning to the discovery of unpleasantness in 2 ridiculous forms.

1) I forgot to get my car registered.
2) An apparent high pollen index.


So I phoned about to see if I couldn't get in somewhere for a Safety Inspection- but no one's got space or time until early Tuesday morning. I guess that means borrowing or biking everywhere till' then- which is fine. After that I headed down to the track to do a work out. It was good for the most part. Blistering sunshine and a pretty feral breeze. A couple miles, some arms and stairs mixed in there. A little bit of core. All was fine until I started planks. Something happened and all of a sudden my eye lids were swelling and I'm sure I sneezed about 15 times in a row. Lovely.


I sped home and enclosed myself in my room waiting for the allergenic symptoms to pass, work it going to be a disaster if the wind keeps up. Sighs. Victoria made me some pancakes, and I had a soothing shower. My eyes are still slightly swelled shut, and my nose is twitching out.

And now I'm watching Arrested Development thinking about what to make to take for dinner tonight and everything else I need to do to get finished BEFORE work.

-Studying
-Hair/Eyebrows
-Make-Up
-Lotion.Sunscreen
-$7.50 to purple binder
-Maybe a nap

{{New favorite song: "La La La" by Auburn feat. Iyaz}}

304

s.i.m.p.l.e. p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e.s. and the loss of my wit.


The last couple of weeks have been rough. A whole pot of emotions sauteing' away to produce a delicious stew of uncertainty and havoc. A recipe for fraz. Delicious right? But seriously... delicious, if you're into that kind of entree'. Not something that particular tickles my fancy. But some things that DO include the following: leper jokes, Brian Regan, passport stamps, and red vines.

But that's not the point.
I was looking back at previous posts- and I used to be more funny. More detailed oriented and articulate. Somewhere along the way I've lost some of that- and I blame my diminishing social life. I guess that's what happens when people start getting married, and moving away- different kinds of humor come out with different friends. And as those friends slowly dissolve away, so-apparently- has some of my cleverness. I guess that means I need to make some new friends, or mix things up a little.

Because all I'm doing right now is working, churching, and uh... working.


So basically.
I'll work on that- then get back to this.